Your Young Adult Needs Help!

I love seeing parents and teenagers or parents and young-adult children working out next to each other. The energy that is there is spectacular. The parent who has finally taken some time for themselves now that their children are getting older is strong and graceful. This new, empowered energy starts to pull their children toward them and eventually they bring them to a group class. On one hand I love it when a child is struggling and they look over in amazement to see their parent holding steady in their inner strength and resting on their breath. But on the other hand, the child needs some basics and support.

I feel that parents look at their children as young, strong and can do anything so of course they can handle an intermediate to advanced class. In actuality, our youth need to learn a good foundation just as the parent did. While it creates a spark of excitement in the parent that they just showed their children “See, I am strong and can do anything.” This is the ego talking!

I get it. This is a very hard time of life.  A parent may be “empty nesting” or starting to feel the effects of years of putting family first and not caring for their bodies.  Parent and child need to connect as adults now. You no longer have control over a young adult’s every life decision.  This is a way to strut your new-found empowerment too, but let’s do it in a way that inspires the child to movement.

We need to look at the child. How can we take what the parent is learning and share it with the child? Let’s not allow them to start to take back their life (after grad school or in their sixties). Let’s teach them the tools to start their life with inner strength, empowered choices and movement. Our tweens, teens and young adult are struggling with some very real social, emotional and physical issues. Now, I’m not saying that they should get the Hollywood treatment. I am saying that you could share your experience, introduce them to the movement transformation that you have learned and then be like “I’d like for you to learn these tools so you won’t struggle like I did.  If I would have learned these life skills earlier in life this is how my life would be different.”  

Once movement enters both your lives, it can be used as a way of spending time together.   For example, instead of going out to dinner together, how about sharing some yoga classes?  The yoga class is going be something that sticks with them for a lifetime, whereas the food will be gone from them in about 24 hours or less.

While it is good to exercise with the child please remember that they need to have their own self-discovery and journey separate from your own.  They are going through a lot of physical and emotional changes. They are trying to find their independence and using movement services is a great way for them to explore challenges, overcome obstacles, learn consistency toward a long-range goal, push through fears, stress management tools, self-nurture techniques, learn to keep an appointment, to show up on time, etc. All are pretty powerful tools if you ask me.

We get so tied up in raising children that sometimes we forget to teach them the important life fundamentals. If someone took time to mentor you in these areas how would your life be different? You are leading by example, now take it to the next step and mentor your young to make empowering choices regarding their movement because a choice of no movement or movement later in life isn’t an option.

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Let MBB help you reframe your negative mind chatter

It is always an interesting phenomenon to me when prospective clients talk to me about their desires. I listen to their goals and their deepest desire for quality of life. When I offer them solutions to their problems of “poor health” they follow it with “Yeah, Buts”.

“Yeah, I tried honoring and loving my body before but it didn’t work.” or “Yeah, but my case is different.”

Their brain is fighting to be right (to hang on to the old, bad habits) because learning a new life skills is hard. It takes work, it takes money and it takes time. I call this stage of change “I’m looking for someone to agree with me that my position of ‘poor health’ is okay.” They aren’t really looking for tools to overcome their obstacles.

This negative attitude of “Yeah, Buts” builds a big dam in a river of creative, positive suggestions and ideas. I try not to pull punches and call people out on their BS. I know that they aren’t at the right “stage of change” for me to help them. This doesn’t mean that I can never help them; I just can’t help them until they are willing to do the work.

Once you are ready to put the “Yeah, Buts” aside and call them what they are, you will see a richer and happier quality of life. I’m not saying you have to be perfect or overcome the negative mind chatter to find lifestyle change at Mind/ Body: Balance. I am saying you need to be willing to name it, identify it, confront it and agree to work at it. It is what I do with my fitness coaching clients. Together we see how we can overcome their obstacles and how they can apply self-nurture, fitness, and healthy eating habits to their life situation. It works because we have two people (the client and me) working on the problems at hand and doing the hard work of uncovering what is underneath the negative mind chatter instead of arguing and scratching at the surface of the problem.

I challenge you to go through the day without one “Yeah, But”

Tell us by posting a comment here.

Before reading this today, what was your biggest “Yeah, But” concerning fitness?
You can choose what you look at, listen to, and respond to—and reframe your reality. Quietly think of a situation in your life that you consider difficult or depressing. Describe it by posting below. Think about how you’re framing the situation. Are you making it unnecessarily dark or heavy? Are you enlarging it beyond a reasonable size? How would you like to frame this situation? Allow a new frame to appear, one more manageable and maybe even beautiful. What change in attitude will you need in order to reframe your picture? When this situation next arises, take a moment to see it in the context of your new frame.

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