Get in Shape & Thrive: Intention

“Intentions are causes that create effect. Choosing an intention is the fundamental creative act. An intention is the reason or motivation for doing what you do. Every act has an intention….it comes from fear or from love.” Gary Zukar

Let’s face it, meditation is hard to prioritize, it feels embarrassing. What should I meditate on? How often should I meditate? Do I use certain words in my intention? Is it okay to use my intentions during meditation to ask for material things? Should I always use the same meditation and intention?  These many questions often get in the way of our actual action of setting time aside to meditate. Artha is one of the four desires in yoga philosophy (Dharma – duty, ethics, Artha – prosperity, wealth, Kama – pleasure, sensual gratification, and Moksha- pursuit of liberation). We can meditate on any of these areas as long as the intention is to support our soul’s dharma.

Yes, there are some who meditate for hours effortlessly. For me, some days three minutes is difficult and I want to avoid it at all costs and then other days forty-five minutes didn’t seem to be enough and it came effortlessly. Why is it easier to meditate in the storms of our lives? When tragedy such as grief and loss happen in our lives all the time, intentions, words, spring from us and we hope. The books that have helped me during storms in my life are How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold H. Bloomfield, MD, Melba Colgrove, PHD, and Peter McWilliams and The Ten Things to Do When Your Life Falls Apart by Daphne Rose Kingma.  For many of us, meditation is a struggle because we focus on ourselves and control over life, rather than a higher power.

Rod Stryker, one of my favorite presenters, of the four desires (check out his book The Four Desires) says, “it pays to pursue the meaning of the word itself purusharthas. Purusha roughly means ‘soul’ – the essential Self that is unchanging, that isn’t born and doesn’t die, but belongs to the universe. Artha means ‘the ability’ or ‘for the purpose of.’ Purusharthas means ‘for the purpose of the soul; and the very concept asks that you take the broadest view of your life.”  Are your days balanced in such a way that you feel supported from your inner work? Our spirit is the nonphysical part of us that is the seat of our emotions and character.

Meditate often, honestly, unselfishly, and confidently. Challenge yourself to meditate often. Two books that help me meditate in the morning and evening is The Daily Om by Madisyn Taylor and First in the Morning by Osho. Meditate until you are clear, inspired, and your heart is on fire with love, kindness, and compassion. Now don’t get crazy and act all goofy with your new found energy and annoy your friends. Just allow your heart and mind to engage with your spirit on an intensely personal level. We do this by meditating daily on love, kindness, compassion, intention, and our soul’s dharma. We need to get fired up, meditate, because it is what magnifies the spirit in our lives.

You can do a burn and release session for setting an intention for 2016, then release control and let go.  Take a moment to sit, grounded feet on the floor in your best posture, find your breath, and then begin. Take a piece of paper and write everything you want to invoke. These are feelings and circumstances that you want more of. On the other side of the paper or a new one write your intentions. Start with the feelings or circumstances that no longer serve you, the things you want to release.

Now say something like:

I no longer need the lessons that these feelings, things, or circumstances would teach me. If I haven’t already, I vow to learn these lessons in a different way that feels better and opens my heart.

Burn the list!

I invite these emotions and circumstances into my life this time to serve my highest and best good. I intend that these things will fuel me to be of better service, to be more present and to keep open my heart.

Burn the list!

Suggested intentions to release might be: Thinking you are not enough, breaking promises, dwelling on the past, worrying about the future, living up to others expectations, comparing yourself to others, etc. Suggested things to invoke might be: fun, financial freedom, intimacy, connection, creativity, etc.

Meditation isn’t an option for those wanting to live with mindfulness.

Questions?

  • What priority do you place on meditation?
  • How do you show this?
  • How can you benefit from writing out your intentions?
  • What are the disadvantages to writing them out?
  • How sincere and honest are you in meditation?
  • How can you avoid doing meaningless meditation or having been nap time?
  • What should we practice and what should we avoid? Make a List!

Intention:

Developing meditation and intention toward our greater good draws people to us!

 

Taking a Fast Challenge:

Fasting is a spiritual discipline that powerfully directs our attention towards a higher power. Consider for the next two weeks replacing breakfast, lunch, or dinner with meditation.  Four ideas or places to start your meditation practice from could be:

  1. Candle gazing for 3 minutes daily.
  2. Transcendental Meditation for 20 minutes daily (repeating an Om).
  3. Doing a guided meditation from your iTunes account.
  4. Following your breath in and out for a predetermined amount of time.

Next Steps:

Meaningful-have this be quality time for you

Educate- yourself on what you should practice and should avoid

Discipline- to be honest, confident often, and to prioritize your practice

Intention-allow the healing process to be what it needs to be for your greater good

Try- keep trying, keep practicing

Appointment- make one to meditate

Train- physical movement is good & makes sitting for prolonged periods of time easier

Each- day ask how we can be part of the greater good

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Get Into Shape, Uncategorized | Add Comments Here »


Get in Shape and Thrive: Plan

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Seneca

We are here to inspire you to movement! As we begin in 2016 and we are excited even pumped about the possibilities the New Year brings. What inspires you about 2016? What are you hoping for? What are you dreaming about? According to usa.gov the top five New Year’s resolutions are: Lose weight, volunteer more often, quit smoking, get a better education, and get a better job. Are any of these on your New Year’s resolution list? If you accomplish one or more of these on your list what would that mean for your life? A 2007 study reported that 88% of New Year’s resolutions never get accomplished. Why? One reason is that we don’t understand the difference between a dream and a goal.

SanKalpa means – Kalpa is a way of proceeding or more revealing the role to be observed above or before any other rule. San means a concept or idea formed in the heart, so basically it means the determination or will of an intention or most commonly a resolution that reflects your highest aspirations. Swami Rama says: “On this path you must first awaken your Sankalpa, the power of will and determination. Overcome your resistance. Expand your capacity… you must order your body and senses to function under the leadership of your mind.” A sankalpa is a desire that you are absolutely determined and committed to achieve. In our western culture a goal is probably the closest thing that we have that is similar to a Sankalpa from the yogic lifestyle. You will have many Sankalpa’s in your lifetime and you should plan to achieve and refocus on a new one every 6-18 months.
“A goal without a plan is just a dream” if you do not have S.P.O. R .R.T.S. written out for each goal or Sankalpa giving you a way to gauge your progress and celebrate your achievements the likelihood of success is very low. Harsh but true if you can’t or don’t measure you will not achieve.
Specific: measure your success and progress in numbers, percentages, milestones, dates. For example, I will attend Yoga at Mind Body Balance for 55 minutes on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

Positive: the goal should be uplifting and positively phrased. Have confidence in yourself! We tend to rise to the level of our own self-worth. Picture yourself reaching your goal.
Obstacles: what obstacles might you encounter working toward your goal? What might come up that would prevent you from obtaining it? Take action to put contingency plans into place and resolve the problems before they occur.
Realistic: your goal should challenge you, but it shouldn’t be a fantasy or a day dream. Make it realistic so you don’t set yourself up to fail. Yes it should be a stretch and uncomfortable but it should be achievable.
Rewards: we stay motivated to work toward our goals when we know the rewards. What will be your rewards once you’ve accomplished the goal? A Thai Energy Session perhaps 🙂
Tangible: goals must be written down or else you’ll tend to edit in your head as you go along. Many people daydream about being healthy and what they want to accomplish goals written down are tangible and concrete.
Self-Serving: the goal needs to be yours and yours alone. It is alright to accept advice and suggestions from others, but you will be more motivated to complete your goal if it is something you truly want to do.

Now write it into a sentence and post it everywhere:
I will (verb/ action) by (date) because (motivation). I will evaluate my progress by (measurement). I will reward myself through (reward).

Work the plan of:
Coming to Mind Body Balance regularly with consistency no hit or miss
Connect with others on the Integrative Sustainable Movement plan at Mind Body Balance Community and volunteer in the Seva programs
Commit discipline yourself and be devoted to your practice leave scarcity thinking behind

Next Steps:
• Get quiet and decide what inspires you for 2016 and are you healthy enough to achieve it with zest
• Write a S.P.O.R..R.T. S. plan so that your goal becomes more than a dream
• Start by doing your work of healing through movement
• Get Inspired through Integrative Sustainable Movement because You Can Fix You

Questions to Ponder:
1. What will you do now?
2. How and when will you start?
3. What does it mean to have movement in your life?
4. What will change in your life if you take responsibility to your health?
5. How will it feel to be part of a community that is living life on many levels?

Affirmation
I am the one who creates who I am. I can forgive my past failures and be free to learn new healthy movement patterns that serve me today.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Get Into Shape | Add Comments Here »


Applied Yoga Philosophy

In this paper you will learn how the classical text of Ramayana has influenced my life and my yoga practice. I will discuss the core principles and/or teachings of this text with regard to historical context and to the contemporary application of it today. I will also describe how the teachings in this text have influenced my role as a Yoga Therapist and how it is applicable to my clients.  Ramayana gives insights into how to live our various dharma’s and ethical standards at times of mental turmoil. It teaches us lessons of mortality and is a guide for righteous living. Ramayana inspires old and young and cuts across all barriers such as income levels, cultures and religions from around the world. The Ramayana story retold by William Buck is one that speaks to me. (Buck, 1976)

Ramayana was originally written in Sanskrit in the tradition of Vedas. The story is about the romance of Rama and the Court and the struggle of good over evil. It contains twenty-four thousand couplets (verses). These verses were written in thirty-two syllable meters called sloka (two line verses with sixteen syllables each). The meter is called anustup, chapters are called sargas and books are called kandas (of which there are seven). Each phrase of the story is connected to the next phase. This text dates back to 880,000 BCE (before Common Era or Christian Era). (Anonymous, “Ancient World History”)

The most important lesson that Ramayana teaches us is the relationship between Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha. Ultimately we are striving for Moksha and if we follow our Dharma we will obtain Moksha however at times Artha and Kama muddy our ways as we lean toward excess or scarcity in these categories rather than defining what is enough for us to fulfill our Dharma. I love how Rod Stryker describes the four desires. He says: Dharma in simple terms is the drive to fulfill your potential, you might also think of it as your duty (daughter, sister, etc.); Artha refers to material resources that will help you fulfill your dharma; Kama is the desire for pleasures of all kinds and Moksha is the longing for liberation and true freedom. (Stryker, 2011, pp. 20-23)

Ramayana is relevant more than ever in our modern society. Ramayana can be used as a set of values or a code of conduct in how to love our individual life, our family life, our career and how to connect with others in society. The young can learn from their mentors/ elders about wisdom in practicing the lessons taught in Ramayana. Currently in our society I see an undertone of solitary accomplishments being a metric of success. Success equated to worthiness, yet we are born worthy and unity is success. Relationships are being based on economy and greed instead of love, honesty and loyalty. Think of your hand for a moment. What if each finger did its own thing? How much can you accomplish with one finger? When all five units work together what can you accomplish then? We have teens who don’t heed parental advice and parents that aren’t concerned with their teen’s future. We have students that don’t respect teachers and teachers who don’t impart wisdom to students. We are one.  We breathe the same air, drink the same water and put our pants on the same way. Unity is diversity. We must all do our own work to understand ourselves better to be at peace for the world to be at peace.  One of my character strengths is the love of learning. I remind myself every day to take my acquired book knowledge and put it into practical knowledge to live by. “Ramayana is more than just a story. It assimilates principles of science and psychology, within its broader fold of spirituality and wisdom and this affords an all-inclusive solution.” –Dr. Ramesh Kumar Gupta

 How do we preserve our values? We are busy working hard to achieve individual success through greed and disregard for family, spouses, friendships, and fortunes. We have lost sight of what is truly important; unity, connection, loyalty, family, higher power, purpose and love. “Spirituality destroys narrow mindedness and confers unity, cooperation and universal peace.” ~Sai Darshan Pressures to perform deteriorate our life.  Without connection and spirituality we end up losing ourselves and our happiness. (Gupta)

Rama said in the second battle episode of the siege of Lanka: Vibhishanal! Self-confidence is my chariot and my courage and patience are its wheels. Truth and character is my flag while my strength, knowledge and self-control and goodwill are the four horses of my chariot. Forgiveness and uniform behavior are the ropes used to tie these horses. Faith in God is my charioteer while contentment and charity is my sword and axe respectively. My principles are my arrows. Devotion to the Brahmana’s and to my preceptor is my impenetrable amour. What other means of victory can one crave for? (Bhanot, 1992, p. 12)

My life and work is filled with love and through the life lessons of Ramayana. I can inspire myself and others to heal through movement. The fourteen lessons that Ramayana teaches us and I apply in my profession as a Yoga Therapist are:

If I come back to my soul’s dharma code I can relinquish my excess of wants in materialism and sense pleasures. I have dharmas or duties to carry out through other roles such as being a wife, daughter, friend, aunt, Yoga Therapist etc. Working through my four desires and developing clarity on my soul’s dharma code has helped me stay grounded as a Yoga Therapist while guiding my clients in finding clarity for themselves.

 Ramayana’s lesson of being married to one partner in our lifetime is built on long term meaningful relationships that are loyal and respectful of both parties. I like this quote by Kabbalah “We all come to this world as half a soul, we stumble about in this existence, trying other halves, preparing for the day when we will meet our kindred spirit. That’s when life really begins, that’s when it picks up speed and starts to flow and we can cast off. But we can’t meet that kindred spirit unless we discover our mission in life first.” It reminds me to do my work so others can do their work as well. Relationships are not perfect. They require growth, forgiveness and compassion especially after the affinity fades and the relationship changes into something that isn’t as new.  Relationships are a living moving piece of art that is always seeking balance and harmony. By having boundaries for myself and as a Yoga Therapist it allows me to have compassion and empathy. Happiness is obtained from the inside not from the outside.

If we take our time and speak our truth we are keeping our promises and honoring ourselves and others. As a Yoga Therapist I use my tools from Marshal Rosenberg (Psychologist and creator of nonviolent communication) and speak in a style that is non-violent and honor the profession and me. This maybe at times saying “I don’t know, I’m struggling with that myself, I feel this professional would be more helpful, I can’t fix but I can guide you to finding a more comfortable space if you are willing to do the work.”

It is my duty as a pioneer in this field to be respectful of the client in front of me, to my peers and those coming behind me. Reminding myself of my own detachment challenges without disappointment. Reminding myself to stay in a professional role rather than a friendship role with my clients so that they we can detach as a celebration of how far they have come without disappointment.

Not to listen to pointless and useless stories of my life especially stories that are vicious. It reminds me that my personality or way of healing my not be right for everyone and it is okay to excuse myself from a relationship with a client if I feel it isn’t providing healing for the client and a strain on my energy level. There are many needing guidance.

Not to accept valuable goods or presents from anyone, as this does the service of Yoga Therapy an injustice. A fair wage for the session provided is enough. I always tell my clients the greatest gift you can give me is to first heal yourself and then share your story, tell others about this service and then invite them to start their work.

Sometimes things come to you in disguise and to try and not get swayed by suspect attractions. Follow my gut and trust my personal intuition. As a Yoga Therapist I can always ask curious questions to understand things better and to see if what I’m feeling is client’s truth.

To always speak mindfully and to think before I speak sometimes my findings as a Yoga Therapist should be just that; my findings. My words could cause the client harm. They don’t need to know all of my assessment findings right from the start as they are usually coming to me wounded from a trauma of some sort. I want to create a trust, a safe place emotionally and physically- then I guide them through layers of self-discovering and healing as they are ready and ask for the knowledge and specifics.

All people have value and deserve to be treated fairly. No one deserves to be part of a violent act whether that is verbal or physical or be the subject of cruelty or bullying behavior. As a Yoga therapist I always lay out the expectations of what I agree to bring to each session and what I ask my client to bring to each session. It sets a boundary and a tone of what to expect during our times together.

My life and work is filled with love that moves people to heal; I am light in a dark world. I believe love exceeds all barriers. As a Yoga Therapist (I ask first) I always give my clients a hug on the way out. Hugs are healing and so many times I am the only loving touch they received all day. Vitamin L (love) is what will heal the world.

As a Yoga Therapist I am only their guide on this great adventure of theirs. They have to do all the work. I’m humbled and honored that they chose me to guide them.

We are wired for connection, belonging and friendships. As a Yoga Therapist I create times where there is a sense of community at the studio. A place where like-minded individuals can go, belong and friendships can be made. The connections here have a major impact on our local community.

Those that have the biggest bark, the toughest exterior, the souls that hurt others are the ones that need help the most. I pray daily for strength to be given to me, for the wisdom to ask the right question that will help them heal. On the inside they want love, connection and belonging more than anyone.

At times I have to jump into the middle of a fire to set a higher standard. As a Yoga Therapist I hold myself to high standards, others say they are impossible standards. As a teacher I guide my clients to lean into their fears to find calm waters and to set a standard for themselves and role model it to others.

 

References

Ancient World History. (2012, July 22). Retrieved October 19, 2015.

 

Bhanot, T. (Ed.). (1992). Ramayana: Part 9: Battle episode 2. (p. 12). Nai Sarak, Delhi: Dreamland Publications.

 

Buck, W. (1976). Ramayana: King Rama’s way (35th ed.). Berkeley, California: University of California Press.

 

Gupta, R. (2011, April 4). Ramayan for our daily lives – The Times of India. Retrieved October 19, 2015.

 

Stryker, R. (2011). For the purpose of the soul. In The four desires: Creating a life of purpose, happiness, prosperity, and freedom (pp. 20-23). New York: Delacorte Press.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Yoga | Add Comments Here »


Yogic Principles in Action

In this blog you will learn the Yamas and Niyamas in Sanskrit and English. How each of these principles is applicable in daily life? What role Yamas and Niyamas play in the Scope of Practice and Code of Ethics for professional Yoga therapists? How will the Yamas and Niyamas influence my personal approach to practicing yoga therapy?

The Yamas and Niyamas are foundational to all yogic thought. They are guidelines, ethical disciplines or pieces of wisdom that you can think of as the yoga commandments. This set of guidelines helps us recognize moments of self-deception such as observing what sort of communication style we are using with others. It teaches us tools in which to distinguish between cause and effect or Karma.  Yamas are restraints, disciplines, attitudes and behaviors (like our attitude we have toward things and people “outside us”- our external world). Niyamas are our inner observances and how we relate to ourselves – our self-care.

According to Doug Keller in The Heart of the Yogi there were traditionally ten each of  the Yamas and Niyamas, however for our discussion today we will focus on the main five in each category of the Yamas and Niyamas that are widely used today. The Yamas are the guidelines to help us interact with our external world, our social environments, our relationships and our code of ethics. The Yamas are Ahimsa (non-violence), Satya (truthfulness), Asteya (non-stealing), Brahmacharya (non-excess) and Aparigraha (non-possessiveness). The Niyamas are our code of personal conduct; it is about self-regulation and maintaining a positive environment in which to grow. The Niyamas are Saucha (purity), Santosha (contentment), Tapas (self-discipline), Svadhyaya (self-study) and Ishvara Pranidhana (surrender).

Ahimsa (Sutra 2:35) at its root means finding the courage to maintain compassion towards yourself and others in all situations. When we don’t meet our body “where it is” on the mat that day we are being violent toward our body.  we are no longer listening to the messages that it is trying to send us. Our body speaks our mind; violence and awareness do not coexist. How we treat ourselves is how we treat those around us.  if we are being a task master and critical with ourselves and then feel as though we are being light hearted and forgiving with others we are fooling ourselves. We can’t be critical of ourselves and forgiving with others. If we can’t be emotionally safe and loving with ourselves then others can never feel safe around us. The pop-culture allegory would be like Pigpen in the Peanuts cartoon.  There is always a “cloud of dust” around him.  People can sense this cloud of harm in actions or thoughts. You can’t expect to purchase orange paint at the store and expect it will be yellow at home when you put it on the walls. I believe Ahimsa helps us build bridges with people by being compassionate, loving and patient.  It nourishes our students.  However, this doesn’t mean we should be a door mat. The most compassionate people have boundaries for themselves. Gandhi is just one teacher whose whole life was based on this one principle.

Satya (Sutra 2:36) Patanjali describes it as truthfulness (being honest with ourselves and others). In our practice when we buy a pose by selling Ahimsa and Satya it is too expensive. We do not need to be cafeteria practioners taking only what we are good at and leaving the rest behind or compromising our truth. Our body is ever changing.  We should love it and be honest about where it is that day without apology or excuses about parts of the body that are healing or unflattering. By letting go of our competition with ourselves and others you can let go of your masks by being authentically you (bold, brave, courageous, loving, honest and compassionate). When we are vulnerable it is a language that connects all of us and allows us to be empathic. We can’t just organize our stuff in a closet and close the door forgetting about it because at some point the door bursts out. We are imperfect beings.  Be careful to not confuse truth with ‘brutal honesty’ or compassion with ‘being right’. Love is a higher vibration than truth and should be your guide in directing you on how to use your truth. By not letting the ego get in the way of the heart we can recognize when we are in need of being right rather than the more important issue of the feeling of others. Sharing our knowledge with love, compassion and authenticity feels better than causing harm to others making them feel wrong or “less than.”

Asteya (Sutra 2:37) while it consists of “non-stealing” it is really rooting out the subconscious beliefs of  “lack” and “scarcity” that cause greed and hoarding in various forms.  When we approach our practice from scarcity and hold back thinking that we won’t have enough energy to do the entire practice we are not operating at our full capacity and trusting that we have the required energy to do our practice. If you attain what you want through honest means you will have no fear. Taking time to use objects in the right way, managing our time properly and cultivating a sense of completeness are ways that we can practice Asteya. How often do you steal from yourself? We steal our time of rest and reflection because we see it as a status symbol or self-worth validation. As we allow demands of others and their perceptions to mold our images it steals our own uniqueness. When was the last time you were on an electronic device instead of being present with the person in front of you?

Brahmacharya (Sutra 2:38) is the moderation of sensual pleasures (mental, vocal or physical). What is the perfect limit for us and why do we move into excess? Learning to tame the mind to distinguish the difference between what the body needs to fulfill our health or dharma and what the mind is making up that we need. We are complex beings and many times we fulfill the surface level needs rather than pausing and taking a moment to view what our soul needs for holistic approach to fulfillment. It is neither obsessing nor repressing that satisfies our desires.

Aprigraha (Sutra 2:39) is non-clinging or simplicity. When we take away our stuff (our possessions) and we face ourselves it isn’t always comfortable, but it is a place of inspiration that makes room for growth to come.  When students look at someone else in class and want to be them and they judge their life against their peer, it is creating comparison and jealousy. Rather than the student looking inward and working on their own body in their own capacity, loving and accepting where they are in that movement everyone has a starting point in which they leave denial and start to grow awareness and understanding.  It is okay to have possessions in life as long as we stay connected to our internal self (our soul).  It is when we use the possessions to feed a spiritual starvation that we get off of our path… remaining connected to our inner desire or our soul’s dharma code and allowing life to flow and trust our journey, determining what is enough for us in all dharma roles that we play (such as child, sibling, partner, teammate at work, parent etc. Remember to check in to see how many rocks we are carrying around with us and learning to let go to detach and respect the circle of life.

Shaucha (Sutra 2:40-41) is purity and at the root concerned with keeping different energies distinct and keeping the sanctity of the energy around us. The sage Manu says “Water purifies the body; truthfulness the mind; true knowledge the intellect and the soul is purified by knowledge and austerity.” By keeping an orderly environment, ensuring that our body is cleaned and free of strong body odors… by coming into our practice and lining up with our peers rather than scattered about the room… this allows our energy to flow and keeps the room clean.

Santosha (Sutra 2:42) being content with what we have already attained and wanting what you already have, accepting what is and making the best out of everything. We may not be ready yet for what we are attempting to do and that doesn’t mean we are bad or “less than,” instead accepting we did our best and tomorrow we will show up and do the same. Approach each asana with an effort of ease. This is a practice of gratitude and grace by approaching each obstacle with love over fear. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of the adage “accept that which we cannot change, change what we can and have the wisdom to know the differences.” Every day I ask for the wisdom to know which question to ask, the ability to be quiet enough to hear the answer, the courage to accept the answer and the boldness to take action without fear.

                        Tapas (Sutra 2:43) is the wiliness to do what is necessary to reach a goal with discipline. I think of this in a personal practice where wise effort can be discerned as the difference between someone who simply fantasizes and someone who is on a path toward their dreams. It takes effort for anything to bear fruit in our physical world yet we need to balance Tapas with Santosha (effort with contentment) If we try to force things we end up doing harm. If we are forcing an asana we are creating gripping muscles and joints versus meeting our body where we need it to be with effort and ease and allowing circulation and health to thrive. Sometimes we have to underwhelm ourselves so that we will build more desire to reach our goal. I am reminded of the story of the Phoenix… of burning off some layers and emerging as something new so that we can fully live our soul’s dharma… our life’s mission.

            Svadhyaya (Sutra 2:44) is the study of one’s self through careful observation. Taking pause during our over stimulated life and finding our breath, relaxing, and feeling, watching and allowing ourselves to just “be.” At these times we can journal and meditate and almost in an organic manner we can start to see our inner wisdom source guide us to our truth. Being aware of our spirit of exploration within and acknowledging the scared power it holds.

Ishvara-Pranidhana (Sutra 2:45) is something bigger than ourselves. It is about showing up in our life, doing our best and leaving the rest up to the higher power that we believe in and allowing our life to create a legacy that is for a higher purpose than ourselves.  Always asking which option will help the most people keeping self-actualizing as the goal in life and adjusting all of our actions to serve this goal in some way. When we allow growth to happen it brings awareness to our being which can then fully express our authenticity of “self” and celebrate this energy.

References

Adele, D. (2009). The Yamas & Niyamas Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice (pp. 21-175). Duluth, Minnesota: On-Word Bound Books LLC.

 

Keller, D. (2004). The Yama and Niyamas. In The Heart of the Yogi: The Philosophical World of Hatha Yoga (pp. 141-146). South Riding, Virginia: Do Yoga Productions.

 

Satachidananda, S. (2005). Sadhana Pada Portion on Practice. In The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (11th ed., pp. 131-151). Buckingham, Virginia: Integral Yoga Publications.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in selfie | Add Comments Here »


Become a better Lover Part 1

Becoming a better lover starts with your own self-love. As an integrative fitness professional I always look at the body first and then mind, however I do understand that the body, mind and spirit are all connected and each influences the others equally. My life’s work is solely focused on the body to mind connection. I’m sure we can all relate to phrases such as:

• Fall in love
• My heart flutters
• My heart beats loudly with joy
• Heartless or Cold-Hearted
• Big Hearted
• Heartfelt
• Take things to heart
• Talk heart to heart
• From the bottom of your heart
• Half-hearted
• You have touched my heart
• You have touched the deepest part of my being

The list could go on and on but you get my point. We always picture a heart in red and red roses are taken differently than peach roses when received. If we think about it, LOVE rarely flows smoothly in our lives. We have all felt abuse, childhood conflicts, hurt or loss and sometimes these traumas causes us to lock our heart away. When we do this it serves as a protection and limits our feelings around love for ourselves and others. Often we lock away our heart we start to feel things like:

• Mistrust
• Uncaring
• Shallow
• Hateful
• Prejudice
• Fearful

We become closed of our own need for love. We are all wired for love and need love to survive. Boys are often taught not to express or feel with their emotions so that they appear brave, powerful and strong. This generally leads to adulthood with the inability to express gentleness, caring or nurturing qualities. This type of ethos instills fear, pulling back, putting up walls or defenses on the external and internally all they really want is love but don’t have the tools.

“Love is letting go of fear.” – Gerald Jampolsky

All of your passion, adoration, devotion, fear, anger, hurt, desire, yearning, gratitude and joy are expressed from your heart and through your mouth. They are expressed in words, intonation, kissing and through our body like our shoulders, arms and hands like hugs, hand holding, caring or pushing away and through sexuality or by caring and sharing. Love is a choice whether it is self-love or loving others. What is stopping you for embracing self-love and the love that is right in front of you? I challenge you for the next 90 days to write in a journal, or on social media what is in your heart. Every day start with the sentence “In my heart I feel…” (Fill in whatever comes up)! Deb Shapiro says the heart is our emotional home and here lays all of our struggles, anguishes, hurts, likes, dislikes, longings, yearnings and joy. In the case of heart transplants there have been many stories where they say the likes and dislikes of the donor were transplanted to the recipient.

It is a life lesson that we all must learn. In order to listen… to respect… to trust our feelings, we must first learn to open our heart. Alexander Lowen describes the heart as a king and the mind as the king’s advisors. The advisors go out into the world and then report to the king their findings. The king listens but makes his own decisions based on his intuition and deeper understanding of the bigger picture. So here is the skinny when you listen to your heart and not your mind you are making the right decision. Even though the heart may appear illogical or irrational, intuitively you know that it is a more real and meaningful decision. Our heart is the center of our being the center of our love. Native Americans have said about the white man: “It is strange the white man thinks with his head instead of his heart.” Our rhythm of our heart is affected by our deepest feeling such as increased undue stress, emotional trauma, shock, fear, passion, elation or joy and then once we become relaxed the heart returns to its natural normal rhythm.

Dr. Gary Chapman has a quiz on his website along with other books, dvd’s etc. on the Love Languages www.5lovelanguages.com My five love languages are in order of importance to me: Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts. My husband’s five love languages are in order of importance to him: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts. Learning what your love languages are helps you to determine how you like to be loved and it allows you to learn to be open and to understand that not everyone loves like you so you can learn to respect and meet the needs of those around you. Don’t just throw darts without a bull’s-eye. Really, what good are a house, cars, beach, trips, and life without someone to share it with? I didn’t learn my love languages until I was in my 40’s and intuitively I knew that quality time was top for me and gifts were low. I’d much rather have memories than a material object any day.

“We are looking for love and reaching out for love, May the love that we are radiate into the world. We all have a common thread of shared love for ourselves.” – Kim Searl

I love rose quartz for the heart. Eros brought it to the earth in hopes that its beautiful color would arouse love and desire among people. It symbolizes trust and brotherly love. It is also so very helpful in affairs of the heart. It strengthens friendships, combats love sickness and opens the mind to beautiful things. I’m also reminded of candle quartz. Its energy radiates love and fosters harmony in groups; releases fear, worry and emotional dependence and heals the heart! We are all balls of light-energy filled with love. By placing a hand on the heart and a hand on your belly button in just 10 seconds with the added breath as the bridge linking these two centers of the body together you have connected to your heart anchor – I AM LOVE! (Aham Prema)

Anahata – hold your two hands together and this is the heart… it brings two things together and integrates them… it allows each to offer support to be present in its wholeness and to expand into something greater. Our love is a base within the heart. Our heart chakra is a means of going within and feeling all that we are. We learn about ourselves. We accept who we are, recognizing the positive and negatives and relaxing within them and being them. When we see another (both in a state of joy or a state of pain) we can look to that person and realize that we’ve been through the same thing. We feel compassion and if we share that compassion with them they feel our love. Because they gain the love that we are, they become stronger and they offer back love, understanding and acceptance back to us. Air is the element of our heart (which is our breath). As you reach the top of your inhale, allow it to be an offering to the exhale and vs versa. We find our whole breath within the integration of the “in” and “out” breath. The heart is an integrator it brings together two things that may seem separate and supports them on an energetic level. Anahata lies in the middle of the chakras being the energetic integrator of our earthly self and our spiritual self. The heart is reflected and balanced, when one overcomes the other there is no balance… it becomes weighted in one direction, heavy, overwhelmed. As both earthly and divine we become whole, we expand and we become everything.

“The ugliest thing that I have ever seen is a selfish human being without compassion and empathy.” Kim Searl

Does having sex make your life better or more complicated? Adam and Eve, Romance, Passion, etc. Stressed is Desserts spelled backwards Sex is the dessert that has no calories and is the antidote to stress. We are all here because of sex and the number one reason why people aren’t having sex is that they are tired!

Study yourself – determine what is enough, what you need, and then communicate it to those that love and support you. Our needs change with the seasons of life. What have you been dreaming about? It is your responsibility to determine what is enough and then to communicate it to those around you. But it starts with you. Don’t sweat the small stuff – slip of a tongue. Tone – be careful with what you say. Your words have an impact. Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love! Be mindful of your self-talk, it’s a conversation with the universe. Privately and publicly praise those you love. It feels good to hear this from someone you love. Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach – the right words on a person’s lips bring satisfaction – SO TRUE. Don’t give up even if the person doesn’t say how much it means to them – learn to speak up to say how much it means to you when someone praises you. A core value should be to never criticize someone you love publicly, including yourself. If you are in a relationship that is at a crossroads of restoration or destruction… I like the Jason Mraz song “I Won’t Give Up.” because my favorite four letter word is LOVE! Love is a choice! Start with you and then move to us. Starting with you? I love the two books by Miguel Ruiz The Four Agreements and The Mastery of Love. I also like the book Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin (this is a good book to do with a loved one). Relationships (at best) are complicated and complex and yet many of us go it without any guidance. Not to say we should follow a plan labeled step 1, 2, 3, etc…… what works for one isn’t what will work for all. However, going it blind (as many of us do) and expecting for it to all fall into place isn’t necessarily correct either. What if we were well-informed, guided and learned tools to support our relationship with ourselves and others? We all want to feel loved, feel cherished, cared for, and protected. As human beings we are wired for this and human beings have been being recorded in this pursuit since the beginning of time. We are social animals. Yet, with the new age of technology we aren’t putting our romantic relationships or committed friendships first. We aren’t using them as advocates or allies against hostile forces. We get off on the accomplishment list and forget to do the joy and ingredient list of creating a home for one another that is a safe place to relax and feel accepted, wanted, protected and cared for. Remember if you aren’t taking care of you and your own self-care than you aren’t really taking care of others. Hire a counselor and start doing your own work and seek counselors to do couples work.

“Even After All this time the sun never says to the Earth “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.”– Hafiz

Humans are sensitive beings and we are also emotional because we perceive everything with the emotional body. The emotional body is the medium of emotions, feelings, passions and desires which is more subtle than the energy body. Using the emotional body, mankind is able to experience intense emotions including both lower and higher emotions ranging from anger, fear, stress, irritation to love, compassion and happiness. In other words, emotional body is specialized in feeling. Humans use fear to domesticate humans and fear increases with each experience of injustice. Some injustices open wounds in our emotional body and still yet some of these wounds continue to fill with emotional poison. We begin to transfer this emotional poison throughout our lives and generations to come. According to Miguel Ruiz we create the Judge in our mind that is judging everything we do, everything we don’t do, everything we feel and everything we don’t feel. In time, you begin to realize that and understand why relationships don’t work with our parents, children, friends, partners… even us. Why doesn’t a relationship work with us? …because we are wounded and filled with emotional poison. The dream that we thought relationships were doesn’t exist. Perfection doesn’t exist. We reject ourselves, we judge ourselves and we find ourselves guilty. We punish ourselves. Look around in the world. There is so much punishment and suffering going on and everyone is judging. What would happen if we each started to value and love ourselves? What would happen if today you accepted yourself as you are and that you are enough? What would happen if we gave up on abuse, blame, shame, guilt, and instead embraced love, peace, joy, compassion, accountability and gratitude?

Looking For Love
A strange passion is moving in my head. My heart has become a bird which searches in the sky. Every part of me goes in different directions. Is it really so that the one I love is everywhere? – Rumi

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in How to become a better lover! | Add Comments Here »


Transform and Upgrade Your Life Part 3:

Last year at the Global Leadership Conference Bill Hybels introduced me the concept of “seasons” in our life in his latest book Simplified. I have to say I was really relieved to hear that “seasons” come and go. My 40’s have been a difficult season thus far. I’ve been doing a lot of closet cleaning and developing inner-self. I’ve been working on embracing my “whole-imperfect-self” and allowing myself to be vulnerable. I’ve been learning to accept support from others and to truly embrace my life’s purpose; exhausting work, really. It’s scary-as-shit and rewarding all the same. This month I bring you an opportunity to look at your relationships with others and yourself.

With four close family members ill, I’ve been dealing with a lot of my own fears about life. The circle of my life is half over and I find myself asking “Am I living life that fulfills my dreams? Is my day filled full of ingredients that bring me joy and meaning to fulfill those dreams? Or am I living a life based on someone else’s ideas of how I should perform, perfect and please?” I’m scared. Can I stand on my own two feet without my parents? I feel abandoned just thinking about it. I knew that they wouldn’t be in my life forever and that I’ve had them in my life longer than most already, however I still really appreciate them in my life and look to them for support in trying times. Have I made peace with my parents over past hurts, do they know how much I love and appreciate the life that they sacrificed to give me? My kindred spirit of my sibling… how he gets me without even saying anything. Even though I’m the oldest and there is 6.5 years between us we have this deep connection. When I’m in my full-on shame sequence (mean and nasty rather than feeling hurt, acknowledging I’m hurt and choosing to not hurt back) he lets me know that I don’t have to be the perfect, older, uptight sister. I can be the imperfect me. He reminds me that I have “worth” even with my imperfections (which he happily reminds me of my weirdness). He always ends the conversation no matter how heated it gets with “I love you. PMA (positive mental attitude) kid”. What will I do without this support in my life? During this time I’m asking myself how I balance being a business owner, mentor, wife, daughter, care giver, friend, sister, aunt, daughter in-law, granddaughter, etc.
This entire circle of life stuff makes me want to hold onto my husband more, to cherish the times we have together and to live our life now. He has been working out of town more than ever during the last four years and all I long for is to go back to the life that we had when we lived together every day. When I think of how things were when they were going really well… it had all the ingredients: sleeping next to each other, working out together, family walks, healthy food, cooking together, time off together, weekends away, going to church together, being present with each other, a sense of control over our money, supporting our family together, working but working at a pace that didn’t consume us, time to putter, time for entertaining friends, time to hang out reading and chatting with each other, daily hugs, intimacy, working on home improvement projects together, dreaming, being there for each other, etc. To me, this is joy! Somehow, there became an accomplishment list that had nothing to do with making our life fuller. We get along better when we spend more time together. We both have a tendency to go into “protections” of over-busying ourselves, going silent and building up walls when we are apart. When we are together we talk a lot, we love a lot, and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, which creates more connection between the two of us. Every day I have a practice of gratitude to remind myself of three things that I’m grateful for. Brene Brown has opened me up to an idea to take this further. She calls it the T.G.I.F.

• Something I’m trusting in-“T,”
• What I’m grateful for -“G,”
• What inspires me -“I” and
• How am I practicing my Faith -“F.”
I think I’d add an “H” to this. What did I do for my health today?-“H.”
TGIF+H

After 18 wonderful years of connection and togetherness my husband very coldly, in an unkind and non-healing way told me on January 27, 2015 that he wanted a divorce. That he felt after working away for these past few years that he felt disconnected from me, animosity toward me, pushed out and undervalued. He so coldly said “I’m Done! I have a couple of things to take care of here in MI and see to completion. Once these things are done, I’m out.” In doing this, it gives him back his sense of control. He realizes this is a selfish decision and that leaving allows him to not try his hardest. Even though we talked on the phone three times a day, spent weekends together etc. it still wasn’t “doing life” together. I couldn’t see what he was struggling with. That he was trapped in his head in this dark, cold place… not letting the light shine in. Brene Brown “the dark does not destroy the light; it define it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows.” He hadn’t recovered from losing his business, the loss of our home, the loss of the life that we had dreamt of and created. We had worked hard together to build a life. One with a six-month emergency fund, complete insurance coverage, 2.5 cars, the big house with a 2 car garage, a rental property, savings… you know, all those things that your parents dream of for you. Now, for the first time, we were living paycheck to paycheck, worried about what was coming next. He seems stuck there.

I am devastated by this declaration that he has made. I literally went into physical shock that lasted days. I cried. I felt lost, shocked and scared. I didn’t see this coming; neither did our friends and family. His decision affects not only my life but those of our families too. After 18 years we are part of each other’s families’ fabric; maybe even more-so because Nick and I have always prioritized each other’s families’ right from the start. Family, Us, Faith and then everything else came after that.

With the work that I do I thought, “Wow. Kim, how did you mess this up? How did you not see this coming? How did you not recognize that his procrastination is his itty-bitty-shitty-committee of “I am unworthy?” Procrastination is one way to keep us from getting where we say we want to go. He has been away berating himself, making himself out to be a bad person. He was surprised that I wasn’t happy about his request for divorce. That instead, I was devastated. He thought I would actually thank him. I had moved past this traumatic storm in our life but he had not. I thought we had grown stronger and moved on together but he was still stuck right there as if the day had just happened. Happiness is tied to circumstance and joyfulness is tied to spirit and gratitude. Joy and happiness come and go in our life. It isn’t a constant. In other words, no one ever feels joy and happiness all of the time. To me marriage is two imperfect people that never give up on each other. To me our marriage is a joyful marriage; one filled full of moments gracefully strung together by moments that we created… moments of trust, moments of gratitude, moments of inspiration, moments of faith, moments of ordinary life and moments of darkness. But with the other’s support we allowed light to bring joy again. Yes, sometimes we missed opportunities of joy because we were too busy chasing an extraordinary moment but it is in the simple moments that I find our love.

So, by now you’re thinking, “Wow. This is a bit heavy (and a bit of a vent session) because I don’t see how it affects my health and movement practice.” Well, I believe that courage has a ripple effect. That when we are vulnerable and choose courage it is a language that others can understand, it makes the world a little braver and kinder. How would you describe your relationships with yourself, your loved ones or the friendships in your life? Take a moment and describe the people you are closest with and don’t use the default: “Things are great!”
We have all experienced seasons in our life where we feel alone or separated from others. A quick search on Facebook or YouTube and all you see are everyone’s highlight reel and not the muck that they walked through to get that highlight reel. It sets us up for expectations that aren’t reality. If we aren’t careful, our subtle beliefs overtime will allow us to drift away from the people that matter most to us. This same subtle belief system happens with our health too. You don’t enter into relationships with others with a plan to hurt them. Your parents didn’t raise you with a plan that you would require talk-therapy for the rest of your life to overcome your childhood traumas. You didn’t become an adult and think “I’m going to start treating my body poorly so that I will live an unhealthy life later.” but we do, don’t we?

Relational pain doesn’t come from our enemies, it comes from those that we are closest to, including ourselves. So I started asking myself this question. “How does a love that starts so good between Nick and I end so distant and far away?” How does our love for our body start out so full of life and end so detached and ungrateful for its wonders?

I love Brene Brown (I also met her at the Global Leadership Summit when she spoke on her book Dare Greatly – great book you should read it. Mine is dog eared with wine stains on it. lol). She states that “we are hardwired biologically, cognitively, physically and spiritually to love, to be loved and to belong.” We have a deep sense to belong to and be loved and without it we are a mess. To take this one step further through self-acceptance… the heart of compassion is acceptance. Hopefully I’m not alone here when I say it is easier for me to accept and forgive others than it is for me to accept and forgive myself. Several years back in my yoga journey it was required reading for me to study Deb Adele’s book Yama and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practices. I carried this book around in my handbag for over a year. It was eye opening. I wasn’t as loving, compassionate, forgiving and kind as I thought I was because I can only give to others what I first can give to myself. Darn! I had more work to do than I thought I did. As uncomfortable as it is to work on myself because of the sense of vulnerability that it brings; to me it is worth the journey because when I lean into my fear and relax into my fear, I come out lighter and free!

One of the lessons that I’ve learned in being a business owner is that I had to set up boundaries around my personal practice time. For example, my evening shift of clients know that the door may be locked when they arrive because I’m doing my meditation and that if they quietly wait in the hallway I will greet them five minutes before their scheduled time. My morning shift of clients know that they may hear voices in the studio but the door will be locked because I’m taking a skype lesson from my mentor or it could be quiet while I give myself a lesson. I had to teach those around me that I needed my movement practice to be respected as much as theirs. I had boundaries in my relationships prior to the relationship that I had with my husband and I even had boundaries for my husband when we were dating but somewhere after we got married I let those boundaries go. Without boundaries for others and holding those around us accountable for their behavior we can’t be compassionate. Instead we fall into blame and anger. For me at least, I think the reason I don’t set boundaries and accountability standards in my marriage and in my family is that I’m lazy, I’m tired, I’m busy, I don’t want to have to follow through because it seems like one more task in my over-scheduled life. Now, I’m thinking it would have been easier to set boundaries and accountability because it would have been more compassionate and respectful. This is one of my imperfections that I’ve learned to honor in my delay. I have a delay in learning things, in seeing the “Ah-Ha” most of the time because I want to see what I want to see. When I fail to set boundaries and hold those around me accountable I feel used and mistreated. If I’m really living a mindful life that encompasses being accepting and compassionate then I need to set boundaries and accountability standards in all areas of my life.

Another book that was required reading in my yoga journey was by Daniel Goleman Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships he talks about how we are hardwired for connection and that our relationships shape our biology as well as our experiences. My husband and I are natural introverts and learned extroverts. We have default settings to want to do things alone. When we do things together we laugh, we have more joy in life and we feel connection, belonging and love. Brene Brown’s research indicates that we need to let go of the myth of self-sufficiency because it is the greatest barrier to connection. As a society we almost boast about not needing anyone’s help, going it alone is more success, we are reluctant to reach out and accept a helping hand and we are scared to offer a helping hand to others. I like this quote from Brene Brown in her book The Gifts of Imperfections: “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.” We need to make conscious choices on how we do life, how we practice courage, compassion and connection because it is affecting our health, our cells, and our body does speak our mind. We cannot experience the fullness of life in isolation from others or our higher power. Don’t wait to be the “perfect you” before you start to work on your health. It is okay to ask for a helping hand from an integrative fitness professional.

You don’t have to be perfect. It is okay to say, “This isn’t a strong area of my life. Can you help me?” Here are some of my favorite MBB secrets…
• We work with the “de-conditioned” primarily. We work side by side with them to encourage them to “conditioned” in a way that suits their personality and pace with a few gentle nudges and maybe one or two introspective questions to help them find their way.
• We see fewer “conditioned” people than you’d expect looking for more accountability and direction in their personal workout. MBB loves being challenged by this type of athlete hoping to find the “next level” through mind, body, and inner spiritual training.
• Being “thin” does not make you “conditioned;” it makes you thin. Many (most?) thin people have limited strength and need exercise to build the necessary muscle to move their tiny frames around and hold their bones correctly in place. Bones are held in place by muscle. The entire torso is held in place by the body’s core. The spinal column is mainly just bony protection for the spinal cord; it’s muscles that keep your back “in.”
• Having an elevated BMI does not necessarily mean you’re “deconditioned,” it means you have an elevated BMI.

Many people of larger mass have great strength and general physical health but need exercise to maintain their level of fitness or increase their level of flexibility. Healthy and generally fit people also use MBB for our other services such as “Intuitive Eating” or “You Can Fix You” personal energy/ lifestyle modification.
Love (whether you feel this or not) is a direct link to your belief in your worthiness of you. When my husband said he was not worthy of my love my heart sank and a deep sadness went through my entire being. When I hear clients say that they are not worthy of self-nurturing through sustainable movement practices I feel deep empathy. I like the definitions for love and belonging that Brene Brown has developed so I will share them here now:

Love: We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, and connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them—we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and repaired.

Belonging: Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

Loving and accepting others for their imperfections is much easier on us than turning the light of loving-kindness on ourselves. I believe love is a choice. It takes work and it is a choice that we make for ourselves. The phrase “Falling in Love” seems superficial to me. It is a choice for me to love all of me… my authentic, imperfect self. It is a choice for me to love others. When our self-talk doesn’t honor us it takes a toll on our self-love on our self-compassion, it shows up in our relationships with others, and it shows up in our health. Our body shows us what is happening in our emotional body. To feel shame is human, it is a painful feeling and it says that we are flawed and unworthy of love and belonging. We need to start getting to the root causes of unworthiness, shame, blame and our fears because they aren’t serving our best self. I feel that if we have the courage to be vulnerable, to slow down, to be able to sit in the “uncomfortable of ourselves” and to bravely reach out to others with a helping hand our world will become a world of love and peace rather than a world of hate and anger. We need to stop pretending that everything is okay and that we need to change to be accepted. We need to love ourselves as we are so that others can love us. We are a society living on scarcity, hungry for joy and starving from a lack of gratitude. We need to decide what is enough for us; choose gratitude and sufficiency.

My husband asked me to read his Chakras and he is blocked in his 2nd, 3rd and 5th chakra’s with is 4th out of shape. Basically, the reading was saying that he is living in shame, guilt, believing and telling lies. His 2nd chakra is lacking perspective and closed to the bigger picture of divine. His 3rd chakra is attempting to create health or balance by processing or clearing negative energy. His 4th chakra is oriented toward unconscious programming, emotions and right brain creativity but lacking action and follow-through. His 5th chakra is damaged from previous overuse, exhaustion, fatigue, blocks, strongholds unhealthy attachments between beliefs and feelings and probably repressed memories or feelings. The rest of his chakras are healthy and balanced.

Faith is a mystery, were we find courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty. My chakras are struggling in 3rd and 6th with my 2nd being mis-shaped. I struggle with shame and intuition/ illusions. My 2nd chakra is attempting to create health or balance by processing/ clearing negative energy. My 3rd chakra is closed. Function is shut down and I am working on looking for a block that is causing the present issue. My 6th chakra is under-functioning and must be cleared and open. The rest of my chakras are healthy and balanced. I have to learn to say “I’m feeling vulnerable right now. I’m scared, hurt and that’s okay. I’m grateful for this opportunity to …..” Intuition is not a way of knowing it’s our ability to hold space for uncertainty and our willingness to trust the many ways we’ve developed knowledge, insight, instinct, experience, faith and reason.

Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.” Shame is about who we are. Guilt is about our behaviors. Guilt is just as powerful as shame but guilt usually has positive effects while shame is destructive. Shame corrodes our belief system that we can change and do better. When we are full of shame (or the fear of shame) we are more likely to engage in disruptive behaviors and to attack or shame others. When we parent by shaming children we teach children that they are inherently unworthy of love. Fear plays a powerful role in our lives and underlines every relational conflict we have. Fear is our undercurrent that drives our Cortisol levels up. It pre-loads our body with adrenaline and sends us into flight/flight mode. Cortisol levels that are unbalanced lead to weight gain, fatigue, sex drive is down; crave unhealthy foods, hard time sleeping, etc. Cortisol also shuts down a hormone called oxytocin which is known as our bonding chemical or relational hormone or the cuddle hormone. When fear is present in our life and cortisol is in charge because we are over stressed we lose our ability to connect with others because oxytocin isn’t being made. If we aren’t connecting with others we aren’t feeling a sense of belonging and love and so our life goes into the crapper because our needs aren’t being met. We break, we fall apart, we numb, we hurt others, we get sick, we overeat, etc.

According to Rick Warren fear causes three things to happen:

1. Distance! When fear is present in our life it causes us to create distance. We distance ourselves from people because we are afraid of being vulnerable so we keep everybody away. We hold those that love us at arm’s length. It is hard for you to belong or get involved because you feel shame and unworthiness should others realize your life isn’t perfect. Where perfectionism exists shame is always lurking. Perfectionism is not self-improvement so a belief system of “I am what I accomplish and how I accomplish it.” is dangerous. A healthy system is “How I can improve?”

2. Defensive! Fear of failure or people disapproving of who we are sets us into a defensive mode. “What will others think?” So we start pointing at everyone else’s problems and faults in some twisted way to validate our own life. We fall into judgment, blame and shaming which creates more distance and not the connection that we are craving. Perfectionism is an unattainable goal and is a self-destructive and addictive believe system.

3. Demanding! We get demanding when we are afraid. Our shoulders come up, our heart sinks back because we are trying to gain control. When we are demanding we lose control and don’t get what we want. We place demands, controls and expectations on the people around us in an effort to feel in control. Perfectionism hampers success.

When we get Distant, Defensive and Demanding we ruin our relationships. The paradox of fear is that we are afraid of something but we can’t let go of our fear because we are convinced that if we do we are going to lose something that is valuable to us. The reality is fear will destroy our relationships. Nick admits that he is making his decision for divorce based on fear, afraid and unworthiness. I admit that I’m addicted to him, to us and that I need to work on shame myself. We base our lack of choosing health and self-care on those same things fear, shame, blame and unworthiness. The only fear we are born with is the fear of falling. Fear will destroy our relationships with others and ourselves. Fear under the surface has destroyed relationships with the people closest to you. I’ve recently discovered Dr. Kristin Neff research on self-compassion she says that self-compassion has three elements self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. She even has a quiz you can take to see how your are doing with self-compassion on her website www.self-compassion.org
Ben Snyder says love is a choice:

• L = Leaning into the relationship, initiate and engage. DO NOT DISTANCE – REAL LOVE LEANS IN! Lean into your support of loved ones. Do not run away. Don’t let time, work, busy, internet, take you away – Let’s connect – Let’s lean in! When we serve/ volunteer we organically get to connect with others. When we lean in we transform our relationships and we are given an opportunity to create new friendships and self-compassion.

• O = Offer to help. Meet a real need for someone today. Give of yourself to help someone else without anything in return. Offer Deep Value by living a life filled full of love. Be uncomfortable with sacrifice to help others. Give others your undivided attention, listen, be truthful, joyful, offer financial support if you can. Give first and offer a helping hand to transform your relationships. Remember you must be able to receive in order to give.

• V= Value! YOU ARE WORTHY! YOU ARE LOVEABLE! YOU ARE VALUABLE! Demonstrate with words, deeds and actions. When was the last time you told the people in your life how valuable they are to you? Busted! Busy? Assumed? I can tell you this: I knew that I took my wonderful life and relationship with my husband for granted I assumed it would always be there and that he knew how I felt. I was working on a book titled “What I love About You Is” when he made his announcement of wanting a divorce. I plan to finish it and still gift it to him. The hardest part of finishing this book is that there is so much to say. Find something specific to say in how they have impacted your life. There are no excuses because in this digital age you have a lot of options to make this happen: facebook, texting, twitter, email, letters, drive, skype so many options. Lean in and value your relationships!

• E= Endure! Mistakes are made. We are imperfect. Forgive, stay connected, be patient. We all sin, we can be rebellious, apathetic, we make foolish choices, we push people away when we really want them to hug us. Continue to endure. LOVE WINS! YOU ARE ENOUGH! Love never gives up, love never loses faith and it is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. We don’t fall in love, we choose love! Do you choose to love yourself? Do you choose to love your body? Do you choose to love those closest to you? When things get hard people quit because they don’t love themselves anymore… because it doesn’t feel the same in their relationships. Sometimes we need a breakdown to have a huge breakthrough and on the other side is a deeper level of relationship. Some of you are thinking of giving up, distancing yourself again. Please hear the message in this blog. It is okay to endure. Have the courage to be brave, to be vulnerable and to accept a helping hand. Get clear, lean in and create something deeper in your relationship with others and yourself.

It is scary but lean in. See what the response is. Lean in. Have the courage to lean in – in the back of your mind behind the silent walls and distance – reconnecting is what we are looking for – family – even if at the time it isn’t the choice that has been made – make a choice to try something different so you feel something different – choose to go, to listen, no expectations, participate in counseling, in a support group. Choose to Lean in, Engage, Date again. Your out can be your opportunity to re-engage, reform your marriage, your life, your spirituality, your health. Fill in the broken pieces. Allow this breakdown to be a foundation to rebuild stronger. You will be grateful for it. We only live once. Lean in, Offer Value, Endure the season! Don’t let the moment pass – Stay Connected.

When we have spirituality, we have connection when we lack spirituality the entire “how to’s” and best laid plans won’t fulfill us. Spirituality is listening to the quietest voice within us. Brene Brown defines spirituality as “recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.” Love when we are connected with ourselves and our higher power/ spirituality we stop laying the expectations of our life and our relationships on others because our heart has satisfaction and love from something greater than ourselves. When we are disconnected here with our spirituality we set everybody up in our life to fail us – because we can’t receive the love we need.

The reason you have a hard time in relationships is because:
• You have forgotten that you are worthy
• You are having a hard time believing
• You’ve distanced yourself

It is time to expel fear, to connect, to feel your value. Lean in and receive! If you are done living by yourself, if you’ve been alone for far too long, if you want love in your life then ask for courage to lean in, extended a helping hand so that you may receive a helping hand, find strength in courage, connection and compassion.
Hope is not an emotion, it is a way of thinking. Hope is a thought process. Hope happens in our life when we set realistic obtainable goals, we figure out how to achieve those goals, are flexible in developing alternative routes when needed and we believe in ourselves. Martin Luther King Jr. gives a good definition of power “Power is the ability to effect change.” Being hopeful is tough, “This is uncomfortable but I can do it if I have hope and that means setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue them and believing in my abilities.” Hope is learned. Love is a choice. Health is a choice.

You have a choice to be healthy in body, mind and spirit. Mind Body Balance is an emotionally and physically safe place to explore living mindfully. Stop and check in with yourself right now. What are you thinking? Is it true? If it is a thought of unworthiness, anger, hurt or fear how do you think it will come back to you? I believe love heals all hurts! I hope for you, my husband and myself that we can recognize our patterns, our default messages, to change our attitudes toward the past, to stop punishing ourselves and others with our words, deeds and actions, to forgive others for not being the way we wanted them to be because forgiveness sets us free. Be brave enough to tell those that you love and care about around you that you are going to work on the health of your mind, body and spirit, that you will do your work of improving your self-acceptance and self-compassion and invite them to theirs so that your relationships will transform because in upgrading you… it ripples out to those you love and beyond. Love Wins!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Transform and Upgrade YOU! | Add Comments Here »


Transform and Upgrade You Part 2

How do you deal with how you feel?

Emotions are both a gift and one of the most challenging things we will ever deal with in our lives. Emotions are a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood or relationships with others.
Plutchnick’s wheel of emotions says there are eight basic emotions which experience:

• Fear – feeling afraid and also may be known as terror, shock, phobia
• Anger –feeling angry, also known as rage
• Sadness – feeling sad also known as grief, depression
• Joy – feeling happy also known as happiness, gladness
• Disgust – feeling something is wrong or dirty
• Trust – feeling a positive emotion. Admiration is stronger, acceptance is weaker
• Anticipation – in the sense of looking forward positively to something which is going to happen, expectation is more neutral
• Surprise- how one feels when something unexpected happens
Emotions can also be broken down into simple, complex and pure. Examples of simple emotions are:

• discovery/ anger,
• envy/expectation,
• wonder/ common place,
• happiness/ sadness,
• amusement/ weariness,
• courage/ timidity/ cowardice,
• pity/ cruelty.

Examples of complex emotions are:

• pride/ modesty/shame,
• closeness/detachment/distance,
• complaint/ pain/doing average/ pleasure,
• caution/ boldness/rashness,
• patience/ mere tolerance/ anger,
• relaxation/composure/stress,
• envy/ goodwill.

Examples of pure emotions are:

• fear/nervousness/security,
• togetherness/privacy,
• respect/disrespect,
• appreciation/envy,
• love/no love lost/hatred,
• hope/despair,
• confusion/being confused.

Feelings allow us to laugh, to love and to create. They create experiences in our lives… they are the source of our relationships. Emotions are rich! We have joy, anger, grief, pain…we have emotions so that we can have deep emotional relationships. So what does that mean…with all our heart, with all our love, with all our focus we develop relationships of purpose to connect, to love and to appreciate one another.
On the other hand, emotions can cause us some problems in our lives… a tremendous amount of pain in our lives. When mishandled and abused, emotions send us into a spiral because life is uncertain a lot of times. We do everything in our power as human beings to avoid pain and sadness, but let’s face it… life never plays by our rules, right?

Things don’t always work out how we plan them to. Any effort we may put forth to try to control our emotions is futile. Life breeds a whole host of emotions that we have to figure out how to manage rather than control. The loss of a loved one, abuse in a relationship, misguided emotions such as anger fear, guilt, and shame… if not handled correctly can lead us father and father away from how emotions are a gift in our life. The farther we get from living a purpose driven life the harder it is to manage our emotions. We are troubled. The closer we get to living a purpose driven life the more our life is transformed. We get lost sometimes in life. We are trying to get back to the part of our life that we feel connected to. It makes sense.

There are two important ways that we can make sense of this emotional journey that we are on. We can actually be transformed by the emotional journeys that we travel. They can draw us closer to that purpose driven life:

#1 Learn how to manage our emotions!

Why is it important for me to manage my emotions? Feelings are unreliable and uncertain. Have you ever felt that you were not sure how or what to feel at times. I really don’t understand myself. How I feel is unpleasing at times. I want to do what is right but I don’t do it, instead I do what I hate. I want to do what is good but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong but I do it anyway. Is it me or do you feel this way at times too? Seems like a picture of our lives…everyday right! What seems like the wrong thing feels like the right thing and the right thing sometimes feels like the wrong thing. In either case it comes down to your intentions. Sometimes what feels like the wrong thing is correct. My mentor Beth Shaw reminds me that comfort and change never come in the same sentence. For example, Sustainable Movement Practice (a.k.a. exercise) is at times uncomfortable and takes a consistent discipline so when someone says it is “easy” or isn’t hard to acquire a discipline, they are lying. Is hurt good for us in our life? It is a temporary discomfort that brings us to health. On the other hand what feels good is actually bad for you in your life. For Example, anyone that tells you that eating a cheeseburger loaded with toppings is not enjoyable they are lying. It is yummy, greasy, the bread is soft but it is 970 calories loaded with a day’s worth of fat. Not a great choice for your life and it will eventually lead you to pain.

Emotions are unreliable in leading us to which choices to make. They lead us in confusing ways. There is a way that seems or appears to be right, powerful, convincing—I’m here to say that it is a bad compass. The mind is powerful and it will work hard to be convincing. You don’t just wake up and whatever mood you feel guides you that day, month or year—it is a bad compass! Let the facts shape your feelings rather than the feelings distort the facts. Let the facts shape your feelings rather than the feelings distort the facts. There are times in our life that we feel alone, lost, wondering where the light and support is. Love and leading with our heart, forgiveness and listening to that quietest voice from our spirituality. Love is the key that opens the heart. You hold the key to your own dream. Family is the key to happiness. Why is managing our emotions so important? Emotions are unreliable. Family and mentors help us know if we are managing our emotions or if they are managing us. When we are off course, we are lacking spirituality (listening).

#2 Deal with how we feel!

If we don’t manage our emotions they are going to wreck our life and our emotions will control us. It is just this simple. We will be manipulated by our moods and guided by the moods we wake up with that day and people will take advantage of us. In fact, advertising and marketing agencies make millions of dollars playing off our emotions. They use emotions to push us to buy things we don’t need they get us fired up and excited about it. Think of that in-house vacuum salesman; he knows that if he gets in through the front door he has a sale. They show you how dirty your house is and how the vacuum could suck up moon rock. Or the u-verse and cable guy… they get in the front door but it is all about the sport packages. Who has purchased something on impulse? QVC loves all of us, right? If you can’t control your emotions you are like a city with no defenses. With no plan, if you can’t control your emotions you will be over run, manipulated, they will have their way with you emotionally and rule over you.

Emotions are very powerful and study after study has shown that E.Q. (emotional quotient) is actually more accurate at measuring success in your life than I.Q. (intelligent quotient) The opportunities and joy in your life come from your E.Q. and how you manage your emotions with other people is actually more of a predictor than your I.Q. Have you ever known someone who didn’t do a good job at managing their emotions? Someone who ruined a job opportunity because of a silly choice? Someone who destroyed their reputation in a moment of passion? Someone who destroyed their family because of a lack of self-control? People get lost and die because of their lack of self-control. It hits home in a lot of different ways. Ever grow up and swore you were never going to do something your parents did only to find in your family unit that you’ve created the same thing? Are words coming out of your mouth or behaviors are showing up that you witnessed as a child? You react how you know. If you aren’t growing, you are repeating. I swore I wouldn’t allow my anger and emotions get the best of me but those family treasures where waiting in the wings. This is how it works. I grew up with a mother that yells, name calls, hits and then goes into silent treatment to express anger… a dad that yells, and then cries to express his anger. Growing up in a German/ Hungarian household we are passionate people that express our emotions and aren’t as good at communicating. Over the years I have worked hard to improve my life skills of listening only to realize that what triggers me turns me into a yelling maniac (because this isn’t who I am at my best self). I need to allow myself to express emotion verbally and compassionately before it gets out of control and yet, I act it out by yelling or punching the pillows or through pillows. In practicing the lifestyle of a Yogi and the discipline of Pilates it has helped me to live a more balanced emotional life. I didn’t realize until recently that living with an emotionally passionate wife is scary to someone who grew up in a family that doesn’t express or communicate emotion. This was such a light bulb to me. I felt bad for him that he fell in love with a wife that is passionate about her emotions both in expression and communication. No wonder he doesn’t know what to do for me when I’m sad, when I’m angry, and when I’m frustrated. The only emotion that he knows how to handle is my joy and love. But he named it and now we can grow from it. I learned about Emotional Intelligence in 2000 which is really about perceiving emotions, understanding emotions, managing emotions and using emotions.
Here is a little chart that might help you decide where you are on the Emotional Intelligence scale.

Low Emotional Intelligence/ High Emotional Intelligence
Aggressive/ Assertive
Demanding/ Ambitious
Egotistical/ Driving
Bossy/ Strong-Willed
Confrontational/ Decisive
Easily/ Distracted Warm
Glib/ Enthusiastic
Selfish/ Sociable
Poor Listener/ Charming
Impulsive/ Persuasive
Resistant to Change/ Patient
Passive/ Stable
Un-Responsive/ Predictable
Slow/ Consistent
Stubborn/ Good Listener
Critical/ Detailed
Picky/ Careful
Fussy/ Meticulous
Hard to Please/ Systematic
Perfectionist/ Neat

The book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Coleman is a great resource on this topic. It identifies what you don’t want to repeat in your life cycle and helps you to choose to make a better choice. Isn’t it better to choose to live a conscious life than to regret what you do when you are out of control that leads to ruin.

The truth is, no matter how broken and screwed up your life is, emotionally it takes just one encounter to change everything. The truth is no matter what you have lost in life it takes just one encounter to change everything. The truth is no matter how hopeless you feel it takes just one encounter to change everything. Emotions are strong, demanding but we don’t have to let them rule our life – put on a new truth – a new life. You have a choice. There is a conflict going on in everyone’s life all the time; in fact, it is seldom that we are without conflict. We often use phrases like this when we are in conflict: This is my family genetics, This is just me, I’ll always be this way, This is how I was brought up to be…… or you can transform and change the record—that’s your choice.

Take a picture of your life right now, what has you stuck in life right now, what emotion are you feeling, are you dealing with that emotion right now that you are struggling with? It might be a medical issue, depression, anxiety, job loss, marriage, worry, fear, maybe you’ve been unwell for generations –You can with one encounter change this course. How do you deal with how you feel?

Three things we should all do when we struggle in our lives are.

1. How you deal with how you feel? Give it a name (In doing this I would help my husband learn my emotions and develop clarity, as he can at times (because his E.I. is low) confuse the emotion that I’m expressing). What is holding you back in this life that you know is available to you. Conform or transform, what’s holding you back from that experience? Give it a name – nothing changes until we identify it- bring it to light and give it a name – grief, anger, depression, restless. For example, I’m struggling in my thoughts they are restless today and I am confused. Be driven by your emotions or by the spirit that lives in your heart- by identifying the underlying problem in life and naming it you take the problem in your life, shine a light on it and that it is the first step to being transformed.

2. Give it a frame take a picture of your life for a second, take a step back and look in the mirror, look at your life. Am I experiencing what it means to be transformed? Or Am I experiencing the life that is conformed? How do I know if my life is transformed? That is easy. Are you seeing these emotions around you in your life from others: Love, Joy, Peace, Patients, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control –if this is showing up in your life you are transformed and on purpose and if it isn’t I promise you it is available to you.

3. Change the Channel Time for a fresh start. Exchange the old record for a new record in your mind. A record of lies to a record of truth. “I’ll always be angry, it is just me.” “I’ll always be unhappy and grumpy, it is who I am.” These are a “record of lies.” You can exchange your grief for comfort. You can exchange your depression for encouragement. You can exchange your anger for self-control. You can exchange your worry for peace of mind and your hopelessness for hope.

I sometimes ask myself, “Why is this situation in my life?” Life is messy. Yes, I know this. I am reminding myself that I don’t want to Die in the Why but to make a choice to live in the What! I’m in this experience. I didn’t ask for this experience, in fact I swore it off but I ended up with it. Not because it is the right thing but because managed emotions and growth isn’t an option for all parties involved. This is bringing grief and great sadness into my life because it isn’t “going how I thought it would go.” Each day I remind myself that, yes, I’m experiencing suffering but I have a choice to how much suffering I decide to go through. I look for opportunities and know that this situation will qualify me on a different empathic level. Our MBB community comforts others in times of troubles so that they may one day comfort others in the future. MBB believes in enriching lives, loving life, sharing peace and seeking joy. Trust, no matter the circumstances. Channel your feelings and help other people because in fulfilling others this brings you happiness.

MBB was born out of love from both its founders Nick and Kim. They had enough love to give; to build one life transformed at a time until there were enough transformed lives that together the MBB Community was born. The MBB transformation takes you out the FOG (Fear, Obligation, and Guilt) of life and puts you into a life full of zest and conscious living. There are countless videos under our Watch MBB on our website (put the link here). Be that transformation for someone else. It only takes one encounter, so be that encounter for someone! Inspire them to take one more small step at a time lead them to strength… to transformation. Do You Want To Get Well? What are you waiting for? Become a member of the MBB community today. We Inspire You to Movement through services such as: Classical Pilates, Yoga, willPower & grace®, Fitness Coaching, Intuitive Eating, Workshops, etc. We change one life, one community at a time. We are your Global Integrative Fitness Studio of choice. Thank you for nine wonderful years of allowing me to live my purpose driven life!

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Transform and Upgrade YOU! | Add Comments Here »


Transform and Upgrade You Part 1

Sometimes we find ourselves having a hard time forgiving, our mind is racing, we are overreacting to stuff, we are easy to anger and slamming doors, etc.

Are you struggling to find time for movement!

What would it feel like to find time and Money for Movement Services?

What if you found peace in your Mind, Body and Soul?

Do you struggle with relationships?

Does it feel like those closest to you know how to press your buttons?

What would it look like to find peace and reconciliation within your body?

Do you stand there asking who this person I see in the mirror is?

Finding the time to grow in your lifestyle is a challenge and it takes commitment to “self” and discipline to “self.” Life is busy- do you want to exercise more than 1-2x’s per month? What would your life look like and how would your health change if you made it your top priority?

“Transform” dates back to the 1800’s and means to make a thorough or dramatic change in the form, appearance or character of. I’m so lucky to have discovered the Mind Body Balance Transformation. It changes your life from emptiness to fullness, from defeat and failure to victory, from insecurity to courage and boldness. Choose to Change and become all that you want to be! I like this song I Believe in Miracles by Deniece Williams. I also like two books The Four Desires by Rod Stryker and The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I have read and re-read these books.

I’m not perfect. I make mistakes – I’ve made a mess and I mean a Hot Mess of my life at times… usually caused by what I think (or as like to call it, my I.B.S.C. (itty bitty shitty committee)). How I think influences how I feel, act and move and my “need to fix” makes a bigger mess than what was there before. What about you? Can you relate? Whether we have something going on in our lives that is small or huge, we are struggling so then we try to fix ourselves because we are feeling ashamed, guilty of the struggle we are having – we start this self-talk that goes something like this: “What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do anything right?” Am I close? This is why we need to work on upgrading ourselves. We need to transform, to change, to grow and to seek guidance in our movement services.

At Mind Body Balance we are in the transformation business. As individuals, we can’t transform ourselves alone. We need guidance from integrative fitness professional’s (they look at the body as a whole- mind, body and spirit), help, support, encourage and offer community (a sense of belonging).

There is a plan that is in place for us. Are you living a life that honors you? If you start to reshape your body, your mind will start to leave those old negative thought patterns that aren’t serving you and as you learn to de-clutter your mind, your heart will open to your spirit as you learn to listen to the quietest voice within yourself. Two more books that I find helpful in transformation are The Life you’ve always wanted by John Ortberg and Clutter Bust your Life by Brooks Palmer. My sister-in-law over the holidays shared a story about my four year old nephew who was asked to sit up at the table while he was eating. His response: “I’m trying to sit up but my body just won’t do it!” He is so smart. Sometimes we are living superficially; maybe on the outside we appear to be living a healthy lifestyle but on the inside we haven’t committed with our heart. We need to move beyond talking about it and apply it to our life in all aspects of body, mind and spirit.

We all go through varying stages of change. From “I Won’t.” to “I Can.” to “I May.” to “I Will.” to “I AM!”
To learn more about the stages of change visit our website at: http://mindbodybalanc.wpengine.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Where-are-You-in-the-Stages-of-Change2.pdf
This is a natural process for us to go through. We have to be able to walk the walk and be willing to give our body, mind and spirit over freely to transform. I invite you to join us at Mind Body Balance over the next 90 days and Believe in Your Ability to Upgrade YOU. It is your choice though- Do you choose to be transformed are you all in?

Transformation is a journey – we start off full of anticipation; but on a journey we can expect to get tired and weary. It is a journey after all. So, you will need to find your grit to push through; as this is an endurance journey. The journey of lifestyle transformation reminds me of an ultra-marathoner. My first exposure to this was when I read the book Ultra Marathon Man by Dean Kamazes. To finish is to accomplish the goal (lifestyle transformation takes 21 months) so forget the past and press on… one present moment at a time because your health is worth it. There will be moments of triumph and there will be moments of struggle. Will you make the journey and be transformed? Only you can decide to do the work.

Something deep inside of us is broken. It is why we struggle. We wish we could be different. The truth is, we are enough and we were built to change and grow. Don’t be surprised by suffering because no one gets a pass on this, trust me. We all experience suffering throughout our life more than once. We must prepare ourselves for a journey, right? We don’t just go to the airport and expect to get on, arrive and expect that there will be a hotel or that we have the spending money for our vacation on a moment’s notice. No, we plan, save, reserve and enjoy. We don’t just go on a road trip by hopping in the car and going… I mean it might go well and it might not. Instead, we map out directions… when we will stop… how long it will take to get there etc.

Where do you want to transform your life? Pick a place inside of you where you feel you are struggling, have pain, feel broken- it is time to do some “inside work” not just external work. Goals take you from brokenness to blessing, from pain to strength and from struggle to calm when you are motivated by love and dependent on YOU. Your goals reflect loving others and your higher spirit, whatever that might be. If you could have fixed you alone, you’d have done it by now- pick a stretch goal, get disciplined and go for it!

Things that you will need for our journey are:
• You need your spirit to empower you- something greater than your willpower to motivate you. Some people stay in disease and weakness because they’ve grown accustomed to the “streets and neighborhoods” they live in. They’ve become accustomed to the pain and sluggish, foggy existence. They say things like: “It’s just too much effort to change!” This way of thinking gets my blood boiling because it isn’t true, folks. You can change but you have to put your big kid panties on and find your grit!
• Personal Perseverance – I have the power to transform! Some worry that they will never make it to the end of the journey. Worry is using your imagination to create what you don’t want. The idea isn’t to stop ½ way through the journey – to make true change you have to get vulnerable, dig deep, sift through the mud, let go of our first world problems and endure the challenge.
• Words to guide us- when we “do life” alone we make a bigger mess than need be. Destination is transformation but we need support and guidance along the way. You will succeed. Saying you forgot, don’t have money for health or don’t have time are excuses that you feed yourself because you lack discipline, commitment and personal power.

If we want life changing movement we have to change the way we think, we need a community to support us and one hour a week doesn’t do it. One tank of gas to drive across the country doesn’t work. A person standing alone is easily beaten by another, but a person supported by 2 or 3 or more cannot be defeated. On one side you have your pain or struggle and across the other side lie your goals, motivation and healing. “Doing life” together – transforms lives- this is Mind Body Balance at its heart. When you have other believers who are further along the journey than you to support you – you move from pain to peace.

Do Amazing things; as all things are possible. You Can Fix You! Do you want to Believe in you? Transform? Be your Best Self? Join the Mind Body Balance Community and Start your Mind Body Balance Transformation today! We Inspire YOU to Movement! We teach Yoga, Classical Pilates, Fitness Coaching, willPower and grace®, Intuitive Eating and a variety of Transformative Workshops. Download our mobile app from your app store today “mindbodybalancellc” and start your journey now! What are you waiting for?

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Transform and Upgrade YOU! | Add Comments Here »


Creating Miracles – Here and Now

The light within me is creating miracles in my life here and now.

I believe it takes body, mind and spirit to tackle a healthy lifestyle.

By spirit I mean “The Listener.” Do you have the courage to go within and listen to the whispers of your body, your mind or what the universe is telling you? Your spirit source is the supply of infinite love, wisdom and energy in the universe. Your source may be any (or all) of the following: god, goddess, universal intelligence, great spirit, higher power, your true essence. Conceptualize it how you need and it can be found here and now within each of us in our inner beings or best self.

Here are three things to consider:
• The price of success is failure.
• Crying about failures won’t get you where you want to go.
• When you fail ask for help.

Can you surrender to find success? Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We seem to self-sabotage. The universal order will give us what we are asking for in the form of opportunities. Are we listening for them or are we stuck in our negative detached rat race? Do we see the opportunities and are afraid to take them? You may work on building a new life skill and it will take practice. Sometimes we become defeated at our first bump in the road because we weren’t instantly perfect at it. I don’t know about you but I’m not perfect at a lot. As a matter of fact, I seem to learn best by failing. If failure isn’t an option than neither is success!

Have you ever been on a hike/ walk/ in a foreign city when you realize that you have no idea where you are and don’t posess the skills to get farther? Feelings like shock, fear and self-pity come flooding to the surface. We soon realize that these feelings (while momentarily necessary) aren’t going to get us further on our journey. So we look for a sympathetic ear and seek assistance with our problem at hand.

Asking for help in developing a personal lifestyle change action plan is okay. We can’t be perfect at everything. It is okay to say “Hey, I’m failing at this health and fitness thing” or to say “Hey, I had this fitness thing tackled but then my life took an unplanned direction and I derailed.” As long as we have awareness, are willing to develop awareness of our starting point or are willing to do the hard work of finding that internal motivator; then it is possible to put one foot in front of the other. You are not a lost cause. We all have a starting point, and from that point we can move forward to finding our best self. You are worth the effort!

“Every moment of your life is infinitely creative and the universe is endlessly bountiful. Just put forth a clear enough request, and everything your heart truly desires must come to you.” –Shakti Gawain

Please share your greatest health failures here and then share your biggest success.

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Lifestyle change | Add Comments Here »


Determination is Everything

There are some people that just like to go through the motions of movement.

They can barely drag themselves in.

Then they proceed with a list of self-deprication… passively going through the movement… not being present… so that they can say “See? Poor me. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t work for me.”
I think they feel it gets them attention. In actuality, others just want them to be quiet and get to it.

Look, we all have our own story (our own baggage) that we try to neatly carry in our luggage. I’m not talking about those moments when our luggage springs open and those around us get peppered by it. I’m talking about the rat race of negativity surrounding every moment of your day, so much so that you can’t be present. We’ve all been there so I’m not judging. I am saying to put a time limit on it and then to dig deep into that will and desire. Look for some grit and make it happen

.
Basically, you are missing the work and the gifts that it provides.

Relish challenges because they lift you higher and make you better. Determination is everything to your success. If you have determination, if you do whatever it takes, you will succeed. Be determined today to improve your health.

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.” – William Feather

If you are fully present in your practice and care about the lesson at hand (the meaning in all of it) you will learn how worthwhile movement is. You will appreciate the lessons learned throughout that practice.

Are you willing to ask “How Can I do better?” Post here how you can do better and/ or tips that you use to be present in your practice.

Being a perfect person, having a perfect relationship, or doing all things perfectly… there isn’t such a thing. Recognizing this increases our day-to-day happiness. What does your inner perfectionist look like? Why do you act the way you do? What are you afraid of?

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Lifestyle change | Add Comments Here »