Why are Mr. and Mrs. Jones Living My Life?

“There is neither greater glory than love nor any greater punishment than jealously.” — Lope de Vega

I’m sure you have people whom you are jealous of.
“Why do they always look perfect? Why do they have the latest fashions? Why are they in a higher position than me? Why did they get the promotion? Why does living healthy come easy to them? Why are they on TV and I’m not? Look! They can lift their butt up over their head and I can’t.”

Stop your whining already!

Okay, I whined a little when I first started my business. “Why did they have to choose the same lights as me? I picked downtown first. Why are all my competitors moving to downtown now? Why does she have a trust fund and I don’t?

Enough already, right?

There is always going to be someone. They pave the way. We also can’t be right for everything (or every person) so thank goodness for them. The world is big enough for all of us. With our hard work, will and desire we will reach our own success. We are all different people with different struggles in the same choir. Some are bass and some are tenors while others are sopranos and altos.

I’m always reminding clients “She has 100 more hours of practice than you and when you reach 200 hours of practice in your Pilates you will be doing that too.” Hard work and effort pays off every time. Applaud other people’s success because they point the way to your own success.

Please post someone else’s success that you are applauding today below.

Everyone has pebbles in their moccasins. If you feel lost in a labyrinth of other people’s demands and desires, try unearthing any unhealthy fears or beliefs you have that are allowing you to be taken for granted. Write them below by posting below.

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Don’t Approach Your Life with Dirty Dishes

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all have that person that comes to mind that we feel is perfect, never makes any mistakes, never says the wrong thing, never is angry with others or at herself.  This person just loves everyone and everyone loves them. They are admired and humbled.  We focus so much on this person that we feel bad about ourselves. No matter how hard we try we just can’t live up to the standards, the ideal.  It makes you crazy.

I ask this:  Why are you comparing your behind the scenes movie-reel with their highlight-reel?

Few of us would eat dinner on the dirty dishes of last night’s meal.  Why do we approach our life with the same cluttered, self-defeating and negative mind chatter? If you want to tackle your lifestyle change from that of old habits to new habits, you are going to have to put on a new record.

Face it, you are not perfect and you are not a saint.  You are human who makes mistakes.  You love and care for yourself and those around you. Take care of your own self-efficacy concerning health and fitness.  Be honest, faithful and true to yourself. Accept who you are in this moment and embrace your starting point.

Here is an affirmation to try out this month:

I am enough. I accept myself unconditionally just the way I am.

Please post below what dirty dish you struggle with and how you plan to approach it differently.

Because we are sentenced to the consequences of our accumulated thoughts, it is important that we learn to observe and elevate them. Write out some negative thoughts you commonly have and practice elevating them to positive thoughts. As an exercise in helping you observe and elevate your thoughts, imagine that everyone can read your mind. When a negative thought comes into your mind that you would rather keep to yourself, acknowledge it non-judgmentally and then replace it with an uplifting one.

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How Our Well Being Falls and Why We Should Never Give In

Many health concerns can be avoided!
Many Health concerns can be detected!
Many health concerns can be reversed!

Even Fitness Professionals can stumble badly and recover.

I think this is a good question: How would you know if your health is deteriorating? To disrespect your body’s needs or worse to neglect your body’s requests because you don’t have time, it’s boring; the arrogance of “I don’t have to.” or “Someday.” is the greatest form of disrespect. Some of us face an impending demise or disease or injury. It is still no excuse to just let yourself run on “the autopilot of failing health.”

Really? If you continue on the course you are on RIGHT NOW! where are you going to be in 10 years? Will it become impossible at that point to remain your best self? Have you lost passion for your own self-care?

Do you think that “quality of life” just comes naturally to you, is your right, so you don’t need to put in any effort? Maybe you think that there is a magic pill out there (or one coming soon) that supplies quality of life, or that a doctor should be able to hand you “good health on a platter” because you deserve it. What about working hard, fighting the odds, believe in your success to good health and partnering with your doctor? Relationships aren’t one sided. It takes two to Tango and in this formula, it takes you and your personal health care team.

By team, I mean:

• Doctor (GP),
• Fitness professional,
• Dentist
• Doctors (Specialists)
• Nutritionist,
• Body work professional, etc.

Do you think if I keep doing the same thing that I’ve been doing my health will run on autopilot? Think again. That is actually Einstein’s definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You started with this program and saw some results in the beginning but unless you keep renewing it with some creative intensity, you are going to plateau and then digress. Don’t get distracted by extraneous threats, adventures and opportunities.

Make sure that, no matter who you are working with, you understand What you are doing and Why!

You might think: “I’m successful because I exercise 5 times per week.” Not necessarily.

You need to have understanding and insight into why that is.
“I’m successful because I understand why I’m doing yoga 3 times a week, pilates two times a week, cardio four times a week and I am using a personalized eating plan.”
Under what conditions could this no longer work for you?

Yes, the person that I see once, who leaves saying they’ve “Got it.” and all they have to do is hold their belly in or eat more vegetables…..really didn’t get it at all. You have to constantly be learning about your body and your program. This is what makes you successful:

• Consistency
• Awareness,
• Learning without judgment, expectations or competition.

Do you have a health care team? Is the team filled with the right people to make you successful in improved quality of life; so that you live with zest? What is your back-up plan in the event that you lose a person on your team? Do you have tools in your tool box and have they taught you self-efficacy so that you can sustain and progress your progress?

We all start out young, thinking our health just “is” no matter what choices we make (or don’t make). This is usually in the teens and 20’s. We are undisciplined and pursuing “more of everything.” Then we hit our 30’s. We are in denial and risk of severe health consequences if we don’t start making better choices concerning our quality of life. We hit our 40’s and we become desperate and grasping for salvation. What happened? There should be a joy of being around, being alive, striving for the 20’s vigor for life. We start asking ourselves questions like, “How did I miss the warning signs?” or looking in the mirror saying “How did I end up looking like this?” The self-care has been nonexistent for years.

We hit our 50’s and we are facing irrelevance, becoming a burden or death. You need to remember one word: T-I-M-E.

You can’t change your lifestyle, improve your quality of life, take that trip you dreamed of in your golden years or see that grandbaby’s graduation if you run out of time.

We can save trillions of dollars in health care. We can improve millions of people’s lives if… If what?

…If we never give in. Never, never, never, no matter what we are faced with in life. Never give up your self-care, never give into something big, small, major or petty. Modify only slightly if an obstacle is placed in your path. We do this already in everyday life. If you’re walking and you find a large hole or boulder in your path, you either go through, over or around it. Never give in to outside forces that challenge or an overwhelming obstacle that has been put in your way. Never Give In! You will see darkness on your path, you will suffer a staggering defeat; but to give up on your self-care is entirely out of the question. Failure to improve your health or to take care of yourself is not so much a physical thing as it is a state of mind. Success is falling down and getting up one more time and continuing with consistency and without an end in sight.

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Mind Chatter

Beth Shaw, Founder of YogaFit, first introduced me to affirmations or mantras. I’ve been practicing them ever since. They are powerful and always help me overcome limiting beliefs. I’ve never thought about it until right now, but I guess I’ve used affirmations in my life before without giving them a name.  I’ve used them to overcome health obstacles.  I just always referred to them as my gift for positive thinking and my strong spiritual belief that I could make things happen in my life if I put my mind to it.

“We all walk in the dark and each of us must learn to turn on his or her own light” – Earl Nightingale

Let’s face it, we all have this mind chatter.  Some of the time it’s negative and some of the time it’s positive. Some of us have just one voice while some of us have a mob of voices. I can have conversations in my head.  If we aren’t careful we can get trapped there.

Okay, so now you all are thinking I’m loopy but really, tell me you haven’t been grocery shopping… and you know you should be buying vegetables… but instead you buy chocolate cake and ice cream. This is what I mean by the two different types of voices. Oh! Here is another example for you.  How many times have you come up with every excuse known to man as to why you shouldn’t show up for exercise?  Believe me, I’ve heard a lot.  You can be on the treadmill already and still talk yourself into getting off and leaving.  You know you’ll feel better afterwards and it is good for your health and well-being.

These voices can either promote or demolish us, our goals and our self-esteem.  I can learn something the hard way and pick myself up and be more successful the next time around. She doesn’t understand why I do what I do but knows that because I’m doing it I will be successful at it. When your negative voice creeps in, you can always count on your mom to give you a good kick in the pants. What does your negative voice tell you?  “You aren’t good enough.  Why change now you’ll just fail.  You’ll never be beautiful.  You’re not worth the effort.”   Do you have this voice?  Maybe several voices? I meditate and practice yoga.  It helps me quiet the mind chatter and still my mind; even if for just a moment. I practice Pilates because it gives me inner strength and I love my body for it. I practice fitness coaching because it gives me the grace and patience to see that every step (no matter how small and what time I start) is better than giving in to the negativity that surrounds us. Our lives are always swaying between light and darkness; we face good and evil, truths and lies, kindness and bitterness daily. You can’t escape completely but you can control the volume of certain voices.  It requires perseverance, dedication, self-sacrifice, and hard work daily.

I’m writing this while watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.  I’m reminded of some keys to winning.
Avoid Turnovers. Why, when we are on the path to greater health, do we self-sabotage our efforts?  Every time you use the word “Don’t” you set yourself up for failure? “Don’t eat cake.”  What do you do?  You eat two pieces of cake. “Don’t miss an exercise session this week.”  What do you do?  You miss the whole month.  Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away from our goal.
Build Momentum.  It takes both physical and emotional training consistently over lifetime.  You want it overnight.  Well, you are just starting out on your journey to a new you, a new lifestyle.  It doesn’t happen overnight, because if it did we would miss out on the character it builds going from point A to point B and you wouldn’t understand how to celebrate once you got there.
Play like a champion. Workouts should be called “Playouts.” It isn’t about being perfect and your clock hasn’t struck zero yet, so start today in taking steps to becoming your best self.  Let me and the staff at Mind Body Balance help you become the champion I know you already are.stacked stones with flower

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Consistency is Everything!

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” –Aristotle.

Wow, I think this is a very powerful statement. Do you know that it takes 21 days to change a habit and 21 months to change a lifestyle? If we are cruising along and we “fall down” on day 15, then the “21 days to a new habit” period starts over again.  The same goes for the 21 months.

Knowing how much fuel you use and how much fuel you put into your body is tangible, concrete. You can count it.  You can calculate your results with a small margin of error. Demonstrate this by keeping a journal for yourself.

Change your thoughts about your body and practice affirmations daily. If you are already doing this, do more of them and use them more often throughout your day.  Maybe even more importantly, stop that negative mind chatter.  Stop having negative thoughts about your body.  You can’t resent those that have mastered the skills of health, or have spiteful opinions of people changing their health for the better.

Give up:

 

  • Being a victim,
  • Resentfulness,
  • Anger,
  • Jealousy

 

Appreciate and love the body you have, and other’s bodies.  Once you’ve mastered your positive thoughts about your body, turn them into actions.

 

  • Quality movement
  • Quality nourishment

 

Start with a couple of  items, like taking a ten minute walk after every meal, then move to eating more vegetables during the week and watch how these small efforts bring joy to your life.  Watch how other health habits flow more easily into your life.  Notice how much easier work becomes.

At the end of the month, count the calories.  Add them up to the cumulative total that you’ve expended.  Have you spent more calories then you did before? If your answer is “Yes!” then congratulations on a job well done!  My movement calories are piled high with treasures for my body and I’m unloading them today!

Here is the secret. Keep doing this! Consistency is everything! A lot of us say “Alright! We made it!” and then we stop moving (after we just had amazing results) and just revert to our old, ingrained habits. Sometimes we think we’ve conquered the “mind thing” and don’t have to work at it any more.  No more affirmations.  Guess what?  We sink.  We “roller-coaster” again with our health and ask ourselves, “How did this happen?” Or we accomplish the thinking part, like the affirmations, and stop moving; like the affirmations will work like some magic dust over our body. Nope.  We need to go back to that tangible, concrete method.

  • Fuel in – Fuel out.

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Things are Looking Up!

With last year being my twentieth class reunion I’ve learned a couple of things. First off, they always hold them on Thanksgiving weekend which never works for me to attend. I wish they held it during the summer when I could attend. But, thanks to the invention of social media I’ve been able to connect with some old classmates and I’m enjoying learning about their lives. One of my classmates lives in Alaska. I love going to his page and seeing the beauty of the landscape (going to Alaska is a dream of mine). He titled one picture “Things are looking up.” and the camera angle was as if you were lying down at the bottom of the trees and took the picture facing up to the sky. These trees had to be old because they went for what seemed like miles. They were graceful, majestic and wise.

If you look up, there are no limits.” –Japanese Proverb

A lot of people fail at exercise because they don’t do the “thinking part” to exercise. They just rush right out to the action stage. However, there is a big thinking part to living a healthy lifestyle. You have to have some goals and an action plan to get to your goals. You have to know at what stage of change you are at. You need to know what obstacles might get in your way and plan for them to get in your way. You need to have a strong internal motivator or connection with the real you so that when things get tough you hang in there.

So, I met this guy this week that came into the studio and said “Kim I have to get healthy.”

I said “Great! Have you thought about what it might take to reach your goals? How it might help you and how it might hurt you?”

He said “No! But I want to live and my doctor said I need to start exercising and so the journey has begun.” 

You need to think about what outcome you want? How are you going to get there? What the process might look like? What are you really willing to do, rearrange, sacrifice to get you started on the journey? One lady shared with me that she was going to have to sacrifice eating out at McDonald’s every day in order to afford my services and that she’d have to put in the effort of planning and packing meals in order to do this. In my studio and through my global services that I offer, everyone always gets one free session; it’s just the way I do business. I do this because you need to try on that service to see what it feels like so that you can start believing that it’s possible to get healthy and that you are worth the effort. Not to mention… you may be surprised that with little effort you can actually afford services such as a fitness coach/ personal trainer, Pilates Apparatus classes, Yoga, etc. Don’t let your limiting beliefs slow you down!

I have written a free eBook which you can find at this link http://www.mindbodybalance.com/archive/Plan%20for%20Results%20Ebook.pdf  that goes into more detail of how to plan for success not failure. I hope that it inspires you to become a goal making machine and you start getting healthy today! You will be surprised at how much sooner you reach your ideal self when you have something specific to shoot for!

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Are You Wishing or Doing?

I’ve discovered just recently that those clients that call up and say “Well, I can work out at 6 p.m. on Tuesday or 5 a.m. on Wednesday only” just aren’t ready to do what it takes to get healthy. I’ve learned that when I meet their narrow demand that they are surprised, plug along for a few sessions and then develop excuse after excuse until they have exhausted all of them. At that point, we either do some “thinking” work or we part ways and they are encouraged to come back when they are truly ready. Clients are always surprised that I don’t take everyone as a client or that I fire them if they don’t make an honest effort to keep consistency in their program. I don’t do this because I’m perfect or snobby; I do this because it doesn’t do either of us any good to waste each others time or their money if they aren’t ready. Deciding to become healthy is like deciding to go to AA.  You just aren’t ready until you (and only you) are ready to make that change. Your doctor, work schedule, personal trainer, slimming club etc. can’t do the work for you.  Ultimately it comes down to you doing the hard work with guidance and support from others.

Before this life as fitness professional I was a successful manger. With that success came some compromises, one of which was my health. I remember the first day that I was on my way to the gym to meet my personal trainer. It was a beautiful sunny day outside, so she suggested a run before my weight routine. On the way back from my grueling run, I said “I thought I’d only have to do this for 6 months but I’m going to have to do this for the rest of my life, aren’t I?” She smiled back and said “Yep!” Somehow, that task seemed overwhelming. I wasn’t prepared for heroic efforts daily, weekly, monthly, annually. So, I looked for a way that I could sustain a healthy lifestyle forever. For me it was accountability, quality of life and self-efficacy development. Yes, I still struggle. Yes, I still need a coach to make me see that I’m forgetting myself. But, I’m successful because slow and steady wins the race every time!

Are you sitting in your office chair wishing you were healthy? Are you changing your negative thinking to positive thinking by saying your affirmations but then not acting on them? Remember, you just can’t pull weight loss out of the air or find it in a magic pill. Use an affirmation to build positive energy and self esteem so that you feel as though you can start moving.  Create repetition with your workouts both physically and emotionally. The act of “doing movement” along with positive beliefs creates the magic in the movement!

Now I know you’re thinking “Well Sally doesn’t have to do anything and she’s beautiful, strong, thin, etc.” Well great for Sally! Call her up and ask her to be honest about her efforts because I’d love to know what she is really doing and how long it lasts for her.

It is time that you worried about you and only you and your self care. Are you really exercising consistently? Are you sitting down to a mindful meal that is balanced between carbs, protein and fat? Or are you wishing for something that will never come?

If people only knew how hard I worked to gain my mastery, it wouldn’t seem so wonderful at all.” — Michalangelo

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Building Self Efficacy for your Fitness Goals is in the Phone!

I believe that my clients are intelligent and that with the World Wide Web they have a pretty good base of knowledge on what they need to do to get healthy. However, I believe the gap in actually accomplishing these goals starts with knowing how to apply this vast world of information to their lives. This is why I believe in Fitness Coaching.  I know you are wondering, “How do I get fit over the phone?”  It sounds a bit gimmicky, right?

Well, have you ever heard of a business coach or a life coach? It is very similar to this; only we are talking about fitness and well-being goals. We develop a personal health plan for you (one that fits your individual life) and helps you overcome your obstacles. The number one reason people are not successful with exercise is because they quit.  This system is designed to keep you motivated and moving, even when your life is busy. The secret is accountability (which most personal trainers don’t share with you).  By holding you accountable to someone other than yourself, the likelihood of sticking to your exercise program increases by over 2200% (yes, that’s really two thousand two hundred percent). Lack of motivation and commitment are the two main reasons why people drop out of an exercise program.

Stanford University has been studying this concept for over 24 years. If you’d like to learn more… Google “Telephone-Assisted Counseling for Physical Activity Cynthia M. Castro and Abby C. King” (Exercise and Sport Sciences Reviews, vol. 30(2), pp. 64-68, 2002).

Having a coach that holds you accountable to your goals is like gold. Your coach will guide you so that you don’t get distracted with life as easily. When you are healthy and fit you are energized, ready to lead life with vigor, you pay attention to your self-care. Currently, businesses are looking for ways to cut costs.  So do your part in keeping health care costs down. Start a conversation with your boss about low cost and no cost programs that can help inspire your co-workers to take better self-care steps. Who knows, you may just get healthy and secure your job all at once.

It is also not our doctor’s or healthcare provider’s responsibility to foot the bill to make us well. We need to be responsible for our own body and subsequent health. Did you know that 75% of diseases are preventable and are directly related to the lifestyle choices that we make? Here is a statistic that might be affecting your bottom line right now: obesity is associated with a 36% increase in healthcare spending (more than smoking or drinking). Private U.S. companies report that obesity costs them an estimated $45 billion annually in medical expenditures and work loss (Barrington & Rosen 2008).

Here is a link to a free e-book that I wrote.  Share it with the management at your place of employment:

http://www.mindbodybalance.com/archive/Healthy%20Business%20Next%20Exit%20Please.pdf

I teach my clients self-efficacy because we need to understand that our health is a personal responsibility and healthcare is there to help us in prevention and treatment of disease that we can’t prevent.

Try this affirmation on for size:

I keep a weekly phone call with my fitness coach because it improves my quality of health. My friends, family and co-workers are ringing my phone off the hook just to learn my secret to success.

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Today is a Big Movement Day!

Movement can be physical movement and it can be psychological movement. Movement comes in many different forms. The first step is to think positive thoughts. These positive thoughts will help you lead a healthy life all around. But it isn’t enough to just sit there and think or dream of this healthy life.  You’ve got to take some action in order to get the job done.

“The vision must be followed by the venture. It is not enough to stare up the steps – we must step up the stairs.” –Vance Havener

 

Okay, I love this quote. Have you ever started a workout video, decided “This is work.” and sat back down on the couch to watch the rest of it… snacking and thinking “Wow! That is hard.  Look at them work.  Well, good for them.” Or move that stationary bike or total gym into the house just for it to be a clothes rack or plant stand?  What about… Okay, you’ve gotten yourself to the gym parking lot and now you’re sitting there and fighting with yourself about walking in.  So you finally win the argument to walk in and then you are on the equipment for five minutes and decide you are getting off because you’ve had enough. Be honest.  You know you’ve experienced these scenarios or something similar. Oh! What about this one?  You exercise faithfully everyday, beating yourself up to the point that you can barely walk to your car because your muscles are so fatigued and you do this because you’re running away from facing a big emotion instead.

Look, you are going to try a lot of different steps to a healthy lifestyle.  Some of those items you try aren’t going to work. For example, you might get those new running shoes to take up running and find out you just die, you may start a walking program with some friends to find out that there has been a mutiny and they’ve left you at the park to go to lunch, you might be in the living room exercising to find that the little pirates of the home have commandeered the TV for video games. The point is that life happens and it isn’t a reason to stop all healthy lifestyle behaviors. Once you get into the habit of doing these healthy habits on a daily basis, even if you think some of them won’t be successful, you still need to build your confidence and be optimistic because every little bit does make a difference in your total well being. Tony Robbins in his book Awaken the Giant Within calls this “massive, positive, constructive action on a daily bases” You have to be ready to try different behaviors, plan to make mistakes, to create awareness without judgment and to seek the help that you need.  Once you are prepared you will find great success in your efforts!

Health is a blessing that money cannot buy.” Izaak Walton

Of all the knowledge, the one most worth having is knowledge about health! The first requisite of a good life is to be a healthy person.” –Herbert Spencer

Decide today that you’ve been needing to do more UP UNTIL NOW and start to change your (and your family’s) health!

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Change Your Attitude to a Winning Attitude!

“Sad facts: many people go throughout life, committing partial suicide –destroying their health, skin, heart, youth, beauty, talents, energies and creative qualities. Indeed, to learn how to be good to oneself is often more difficult than to learn how to be good to others.”  –Paul C. Bragg

A thought conceived over and over and over again becomes belief. Our thoughts then transmit or transfer a feeling in our body. This feeling then neurologically leads to a behavior. And the behavior leads to a result. Often times we’ve learned to get rid of a feeling by replacing it with food. Or, our thought of fear is bigger than reality which then leads us to the results we feel and see in our life. 87% of what we think about is made up, so why make our thoughts negative and self-destructing. If we can choose our thoughts, why not make them positive?  Let’s just go for the big pay off! The human brain fights everyday to be right. Your brain will fight to come up with ways to be right even if it’s made up.

Say you go into your favorite restaurant and you don’t know what you want to eat.  The server is standing there patiently waiting to take your order. Are you ordering a veggie omelet, side of fruit and some whole grain toast or are you ordering bacon, hash, eggs, pancakes and juice? Are you ordering shame, guilt, low self esteem, I’m worthless? Or are you ordering healthy, pride, and honor in your choice.

There is this thing called universal law or law of attraction. What you put your energy into you will receive. If you aren’t getting exactly what you want maybe you need to look at your thoughts. Maybe you need to change what you are ordering.

When a negative self defeating limiting belief thought pops up into your mind ask yourself these questions:

  • “How does this thought honor you?
  • What path does this honor?
  • What payoff do you get?”

For example:

“I don’t see any evidence of physical problems, so my doctor must be wrong. The way I eat is not harmful to me.” Instead we could think: “I know mindless eating is not good for my body.  Although I was uncomfortable when my doctor pointed this out, I realize the impact unhealthy eating can have over the long run and I am aware of the consequences.”

“A strong body and a bright, happy or serene countenance can only result from the fine admittance of thoughts of joy and goodwill and serenity into the mind.”— James Allen

Today serve up exactly what you want!

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